Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed with autism (ASD) 3 years ago after struggling with my mental health for over 30 years. It took over five and a half years to get this, as the CMHT did not tell me that I could be diagnosed without any knowledge of my mother's pregnancy or my first five years of life.
Now, I am being honest: I don't have much faith in the NHS as a whole, which stems from how different departments treated me and CMHT lying in letters to my GP and on my medical file. I also had many difficulties trusting the CMHT, as they never seem to believe anything I say.
Last week, I had an appointment with a psychiatrist and a clinical lead from the local CMHT. Straight away, the psychiatrist started blaming my mental health problems on autism, and the CMHT can not provide care for autistic people. They told me that I have to go to a local autism charity for help with autism, and once I have help with that, then they can look into if I need mental health help. The autism charity can not provide help for mental health, so if they (who are not qualified in mental health) think I need help, then I would have to be referred back to the CMHT.
The day after this appointment, I had a complete meltdown and smashed my computer and several other things. Unfortunately, I live alone, so I have no one witnessing these meltdowns. While in a meltdown, I cannot think of anything else but to get the frustration out, and all the information I have read to stop the meltdown is not in my head at that time. Afterwards, I go to bed and stay there for days, but I still get angry and upset because of the meltdown.
Does anyone else have this problem? I think it is an absolute shambles that is putting people's lives at risk and delaying the help that people desperately need.
Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can stop during a meltdown? Bearing in mind I am on my own and I have read the neurodivergent mindfulness booklet.
Thanks for reading.
Hi Raspberries, so I can kind of relate…i hate being put on hold, I was in a very dark place, burnout, whatever you wanna call it, and I ended up smashing my phone against the floor, which completely destroyed it, and I’m still paying for it until 2025 lol I then got another phone which I still haven’t paid for and I’m pretty much burning out again atm, so hopefully I won’t smash this one!
What is having to do atm, is endulging in as many self soothing things that I can do. Hot baths, incense sticks, crap loads of tea, candles etc, anything that’s just gonna soothe how I’m feeling. Is that something you could do? Just to try and block out as many stressors as possible?
I understand about the frustration of being told it’s Autism as opposed to mental health, but I’ve also had the opposite too which is just as frustrating. My current diagnoses are Autism, Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, but very often what I think is mental health issues I get told it’s down to Autism!
I hope you manage to find a solution that works for you, or at least reduces the way you feel when you’re in those states.
Thank you for the reply. I thought I was the only one that smashed things. The cost of the meltdowns has been rising in the past two years. Firstly, there are plates and bowls, computer keyboards, sweeping brushes, etc. But I have also smashed a plug-in standing dehumidifier (don't ask me how I smashed it, as I don't know), a phone and now a laptop. I am lucky as I am good with money (I am not saying you are not), so I have money or put it on a credit card and have it paid off in a few months.
As for trying self-soothing methods, what you mentioned has never worked for me, and I tend to go to bed and stay there. I enjoy jigsaws and colouring, but I need to be in the mood for these, and I had been doing a jigsaw for a few weeks before last week's meltdown, so that hadn't distracted me. Also, it would take me less than a week to do a jigsaw, and it has been about four weeks, and I am only halfway through it. I feel I no longer know what I like or who I am.