Is this a meltdown??

I think I felt similar after holidays in my husband’s family. I made it mostly for him, they are ok and kind to me, but his family is big and they have a lot of neighbors and relatives and they are very social. I endured somehow three weeks but it was extremely challenging for me, afterwards I felt like I didn’t know where is my place and who I am, was anxious, getting panic attacks and crying without reason. 1 month passed and only now I start feeling balanced. It’s hard, for me in the beginning even trying to focus back on my hobby didn’t work, only now it works. I’m trying to not think about the fact that after 2 years I’m gonna have to spend there another 2-3 weeks. 

Thanks for sharing that. 

I do that too Take5, I was diagnosed with social phobia, after physically not being able to get up off the floor to go to an event that I'd been looking forward too and even had a dress and shoes for. The thought of having to socialise fills me with dread, I can just about manage a 20 minute walk with people I've known for a few years, but I still come home and obessively go over everything I said that could possibly be miscontrued, at least this has come down to about 30 mins now from the couple of hours that it was before. Socialising at home dosen't bother me either, nor does it bother me if I work in a customer facing role, a counter gives me some kind of professional distance and most exchanges are simple.

For me part of looking forward with dread to social events, is the forward planing of scripts of things to say and not say, of course everything goes well in my head, until it dosen't and I imagine every disaster possible every faux pas that I could possibly make that seems far more liely than the evening just passing quite normally. I don't drink alcohol which makes socialising more difficult as there's even now, a pressure to consume alcohol, saying I'm the designated driver dosen't always cut it, mind you I've found being very blunt about why I no longer drink alcohol usually shuts people up, I tell them truthfully that it's because of the menopause and monsterous hot flushes. But that sort of thing dosen't help, thinking about it brings a sensation of dread to the pit of my stomach, it's all so boringly predictable, someone decides to have a go at me over something like not drinking alcohol, I'm blunt, people get embaressed and cross because we're supposed to be having "fun" and I've "spoiled" it. What part of this process is fun for me? Why can't I stay at home with a good book and a good cat?

I do that too Take5, I was diagnosed with social phobia, after physically not being able to get up off the floor to go to an event that I'd been looking forward too and even had a dress and shoes for. The thought of having to socialise fills me with dread, I can just about manage a 20 minute walk with people I've known for a few years, but I still come home and obessively go over everything I said that could possibly be miscontrued, at least this has come down to about 30 mins now from the couple of hours that it was before. Socialising at home dosen't bother me either, nor does it bother me if I work in a customer facing role, a counter gives me some kind of professional distance and most exchanges are simple.

For me part of looking forward with dread to social events, is the forward planing of scripts of things to say and not say, of course everything goes well in my head, until it dosen't and I imagine every disaster possible every faux pas that I could possibly make that seems far more liely than the evening just passing quite normally. I don't drink alcohol which makes socialising more difficult as there's even now, a pressure to consume alcohol, saying I'm the designated driver dosen't always cut it, mind you I've found being very blunt about why I no longer drink alcohol usually shuts people up, I tell them truthfully that it's because of the menopause and monsterous hot flushes. But that sort of thing dosen't help, thinking about it brings a sensation of dread to the pit of my stomach, it's all so boringly predictable, someone decides to have a go at me over something like not drinking alcohol, I'm blunt, people get embaressed and cross because we're supposed to be having "fun" and I've "spoiled" it. What part of this process is fun for me? Why can't I stay at home with a good book and a good cat?

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I do drink but very little as the more I drink the worse it tastes. I’m pressured by most to join in more and made to feel an outcast for not drinking lots. I don’t understand why people judge you when you don’t want to make a t**t of yourself. 
I think they are the boring ones because they are unable to enjoy the evening without losing control…. There’s more to life than that I think. 
It does disturb me building things up in my mind long before I get there, it’s almost like a defence mechanism to stop yourself feeling uncomfortable. I often think to myself that I hope something happens so that I can get out of it (nothing serious or hurtful) 

It sounds like you are able to do things your way and manage yourself in that area, I’m hoping one day to be able to do that whilst being understood by my partner. 
We have friends over tomorrow for a take away which doesn’t affect me and I feel very comfortable with them so I’m quite enthusiastic about that. 

Thanks again for your post, it’s nice to talk to people that understand. 

Take care