Published on 12, July, 2020
What is your understanding of Alexithymia?
I know it's probably difficult for people with Alexithymia to explain and know things like this.
I've suspected I might have it. I've always had 'mild' emotions, I'm not sure if I like something at times, I'm not sure if I'm sensitive to sounds, textures, etc. and I don't know how being sensitive actually feels; Is it what I'm experiencing or is it something else?
And most of the times, I only understand my thoughts and feelings after journaling or showering, I always thought I was great with my emotions but recently realized it's just cause I practice it a lot and know a lot of helpful tools, but in actuality I need so much time and effort to understand thoughts and they rarely come instantaneously.
I don't know, even now I'm questioning if what I've written are my true thoughts and feelings or I just think they are.
I hadn’t heard of it until about a year and a half ago when I received CBT therapy. One of the first tasks I was given was to record my mood throughout the day - scores for Achievement, Connection and Enjoyment plus the primary emotion I was feeling every half an hour through the day.
It quickly became apparent I couldn’t describe what emotion I was feeling, so I was given an emotion wheel diagram with a few dozen different emotions listed to prompt me.
But I could only really say if I was angry, sad, anxious or not angry sad or anxious.
All the “emotions” on the diagram seem more like intellectual concepts to me rather than something would “feel”.
Amerantin (former member) said:every half an hour through the day.
Wow that would annoy me having to do that! Constant interruptions of whatever else I might have been doing, or I would just forget to do it much of the time. And many of those emotions would thus be "annoyance at having to do this"! Right now I am not sure I could identify my primary emotion and I suspect that would be the case for most of the time.
As for the original question, I don't find it easy to answer. I don't have mild emotions, but much of the time I think I might be feeling neutral, and I often find it hard to identify more than positive or negative. My husband accuses me of being in a bad mood, but i think I just react to things, so if something annoys me then i will express annoyance regardless of any underlying emotional state. It is possible that I might be feeling negative but not consciously aware of it all the time. Sadly that is more common than positive, especially at the moment as I am being dragged around by PIP and suffering with the menopause.