Feel Like I'm Wasting My Life

Hi Elvis, 

I relate to your post a lot, although I am older than you and I do work (I don't know how you can survive £$£$ without work? Let me in on the secret!). 

I also feel very stuck in a rut. Outside of work (which is from home, remote) I don't really leave the house much. I don't have a lot of friends. I spend much of my time watching online TV shows, listening to podcasts, scanning the web, eating, etc. It doesn't feel like there is anything really to look forward to or work towards. I don't really want to go to pubs or anything on my own, I would feel weird, so I stay home. I don't really want to eat in restaurants or go to cinemas on my own either, I feel like people would think I am weird. 

I think it sounds really positive that you have aspirations like you write in your post: you want to meet someone, have a family, etc. You can put some of your time and effort into building that future! Get on the dating apps, see who you can talk to. You can learn to cook! Offer to make something for your parents sometime! Cooking is great fun when you get into it. 

Do you like animals? Maybe you could volunteer to help at a farm or even walk neighbours dogs, etc? 

I feel like there are tonnes of options out there for you maybe you just need help searching.

You survive without working by not spending what you do not have.

Delayed gratification and all that. Well, that's how I manage.

And of course you also work as much as you can manage anyway, whether it pays or whether it does not, thus breaking the link between "work" and "money" which is important to do if you want to become your own master.

You replace money with accomplishment, and the measure of what you are, becomes more "real" and less arbitrary or set by the whim of strangers..

Hi I Sperg, 

Thanks for your reply. 

I think I understand what you're saying, but for instance, I need at least £900 for rent and £300 for food, plus household bills, WIFI, mobile phone, petrol, council tax, medicines, etc. every month. Those aren't prices I can negotiate or simply 'not spend'. So again I don't know how you can get around not working and still having money. 

Genuine question, I'm not trying to be funny or difficult! 

Can you explain me more about this?

*eye roll* never mind. 

Where the hell do you get my outgoings as 2-3K?

That's probably not even my total turnover for the year!

I get irregular income that covers that.with periods of serious restrictions in what I can do in between.

I'll eventually find something I do that does actually earn me some proper money and then I can fire up the Daimler again, but the last seven months have been spent carefully (and at minimum cost) restoring my motorcycle, because summer I tend to get a bit of gardening work 

I think Elvis is living with his parents - and that makes a massive difference. My youngest adult son lives with us so he has no rent or bills to pay. Rents these days are extortionate- my eldest is currently trying to find a flat and it’s a nightmare. 

I don't live in Mayfair. 

I don't have a mortgage. 

I don't and never have owned a credit card. 

You stated "You survive without working by not spending what you do not have." - if you aren't working, surely your income is £0. If your outgoings are £2-3K a month, where are you finding the money? 

You stated "You replace money with accomplishment" unfortunately my landlord does not accept 'accomplishment' as a currency. 

I'm delighted you make it work, but you simply *must* have *some* income from *somewhere* otherwise you'd be on the street. 

Make the maths make sense then I'll be sure to take your side. 

I've had to work real hard on this one, and I'm still not entirely comfortable publishing the result...

It's a long story that has produced a wall of text and the only part that you'll find really applicable to your immediate circumstance is "see what you can really go without until your income exceeds your expenditure".

It requires a fundamental shift in ones thinking about how you relate to money, responsibilty, and society, which is against how we are trained to think.

Then save whenever you get a windfall.

It's paying someone 900 quid for housing that is crippling you guys, where do you live? Mayfair?

Most of us work very hard indeed to make a whole slew of strangers rich, and believe "it's the right thing to do".

I used to. But it's never enough, they always need a little more...

Stop using credit. Make DAMN sure you pay no "interest" IF you must have a mortgage watch the video where the guy tell you how to kill the compound interest by making more frequent payments (which the mortgage company will try and object to, but it's legal and saves you a bucket load of money over time. Who the hell needs a T.V., it's licence or it's premium service costs? I used to keep a set for visiting  licence holders / addicts to use, but I played the game. I Didn't want to be a criminal, so I simply didn't watch it myself except for DVD's when my kid bough one round etc. I did need intent but it was dead cheap then and for a long while I did repairs for a neighbour and they gave me their wi-fi password. Huge cost saving AND the neighbours really liked the on call repair service. 

It's a state of mind, but I'm not giving (or promising) more than I have to give.

From some aspects it looks like prudence, from others like frugality, from others naked selfishness, and it's definitely continuous hard work, not working, but I can't stand people I don't know demanding money that I do not have, so I've done everything within in my power to stop that happening.. 

Hey TriS, sorry, I should have been more specific. My post about expenditure vs. income was in reply to I Sperg's post responding to me regarding; 'living within your means' - not in response to the original poster. I thought that was clear by the 'thread' - my bad. 

Hope you're keeping well today :) 

I imagine from the way the post is written that Elvis lives with his parents, so most of those expenses aren't needed. Especially if someone feels unable to go anywhere or really do much away from home. 

It works for me  

Another small money earner is doing online surveys where you get paid for doing surveys. My sister does this via an app. It's not a huge earner but it's something you might be able to do as it's fairly stress free so my sister says.

It works for me  

Another small money earner is doing online surveys where you get paid for doing surveys. My sister does this via an app. It's not a huge earner but it's something you might be able to do as it's fairly stress free so my sister says.