so is this my life? all i have to look forward to?

nope, its a depressant, never understood how people appear to "feel better", from it, unless they just lie that it does as an excuse to drink.

unfortunately cinemas make me feel claustrophobic amongst other things, even with other people, so likely overwhelm from them.

thanks for the suggestion though 

i kind of dont know, like, everything just seems im just doing it to get through the day, and i find it hard to recognise hobbies and interests.

ive gone into work today, 18mins til opening, think im gonna have to do some serious "masking" if it is what i believe masking to mean, but im just feeling low, dealt with far worse and at least i know how im feeling and emotions arent all over the place

That's great. I wish more places did that like supermarket and restaurants.

Yes, it’s a Saturday here and you are allowed to bring your own food and drinks in so there isn’t a problem with intolerances.

That sounds nice and relaxing for you.

Where I am our cinema has an Autism Saturday where they play movies slightly quieter and have the lights at a more gentle brightness. I only went once with my mum but it was a lot nicer and more comfortable than usual.

I used to do that many years ago too

you'll have a reason to be there, so probing staff working there for compatibility might seem inocuous

Hi, it can seem like we are just treading water sometimes, being alone gives us too much thinking time. Just a suggestion and I can appreciate that money may be tight. Cineworld and others do an unlimited ticket that based on how big your cinema is starts at £9.99 per month. It’s  a good way of just being out and loosing yourself in a film for a couple of hours. I book a seat not too near other people and can see others but not have to engage with them. The cinema also does screenings for autistic people once a month, maybe a way of finding our own kind.

I'm sure you are better than you think.  I find it difficult putting my thoughts into words my brain starts to freeze lol.

I'm not good too, it's work in progress :P

I'm good at making stories in my head, but to channel it into writing is a lot of work

That sounds awesome.  Have fun writing it!

I like writing but I'm no good at it. Would love to write a book though.

Do you have a hobby? Or a special interest?

Also, I find that detaching from the White Noise of Society helps. I no longer watch TV. So, I'm not engulfed in the hyperbole of Love Island and Ukraine. It's a Cattle Market out there.

Social Media is, also, the most antisocial things in Christendom. It turns us into snoops. We have to know everyone else's business. Ego sells. 

Life is beyond explanation. However, action is key. Ditch the junk, and focus on wholeness. 

I think we autistics find change so terrifying and hard to process that we can get stuck in the same rut for far too long. We can recognise that something has to change, in order to achieve happiness, but at the same time cannot cope with change.

I think you already know that alcohol is not the answer. I'm saying that as someone who has just woken with the hangover from hell, after using it to try and blot out my feelings. No it didn't make me feel any better.

mundane won't satiate that need

I'm OK to have a place to live, job to pay bills, and buy enough food, it's in enough for me in this area,

but the need continues despite it

autistic feel it more, the desire for fulfilment

It's scifi in Warhammer Universe, I plan a small revolution in regard to the panteon of gods, I'll depose one them - The God Emperor of Mankind has to go into history , 

haha yeah true, i just want simple bare bones basic things, well basic to most people i suppose, maybe not basic to me, otherwise id have no problem with having them i suppose.

Well written. I love your messages I feel like I learn so much from you. 

Good luck with your book. What's it about?

What's the point?

The biggest question philosophers keep asking since beginning of mankind.

Society denies us many ways  of how one can feel like there is purpose in continuing to live

Raising offspring is one of those ways, but many of us won't get married, and won't have children,.

Become valued member in a local community, so you can live to serve, as a teacher, politician, firefighter, medical doctor, etc

Add something to the knowledge of mankind, but that is a path for very few, autistic or allistic

Create art, that carries the problem that you probably won't become recognised in your lifetime

I decided to write a book, so I won't try to cross to the other side before its done, at least I get my sentence suspended 

yeah, its, i dunno, just survival i suppose, waiting, hoping something changes, trying to just "get on with things", i dunno,.

just, its the reason i didn't move out in first place, but then i was pushed further and further and then kicked out and, ah those "people " mean nothing anyway.

i'll be ok, just have to "stand tall" put things aside and try my best to just push through it all.

i have borderline personality disorder, so meds are quetiapine as a mood stabiliser, so that's always fun lol, least they let me sleep through, not asd diagnosed ss yet.

thank you luna.you too

I'm not sure what the point is to be honest. It's kind of like what's the point of life? I often wonder this myself. I wake up, eat food, drink water, battle my voices, maybe listen to a song, go to bed and it all repeats again the next day. But why? Is there a point?

It's a weird thing really and I do not understand it, understand where we're going or why we keep doing it.

Hopefully the thoughts will go or improve for you because I know that they can be overwhelming in the end.

Hope your meds help a little. I'm not sure about you but I have ADHD and this can intensify things like this.

Take care of yourself.

Luna x