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so is this my life? all i have to look forward to?

deadsponge

i dunno, im expecting the point to be missed as it always has been, perhaps thats my fault though.

im currently just sitting on floor, listening to music, about to take meds and go bed because all i have is this bloody voluntary job, and nothing else, i dony see any friendships coming from it, not that i have a problem with anyone at work.

all im doing is just going in, working long as possible, acting a prat at times, which, well, i don't take myself seriously i suppose so no problem with that as such.

going "home" to this junkie ridden cesspit, sleeping, putting everything i can to the back of my head, not dealing with it because im getting barely any nhs support relevant to ny problems, waiting waiting waiting, working working working, 

why? even if and when i get moved to somewhere permanent, what reason do i have to even bother? yeah, im trying bloody hard to just get through what ive been going through for over a year now, but, i dunno, just dont see the point, my life will still be the same, wherever i live and whatever i do, 

im also drinking again, not getting drunk, just ,2 cans now and again but getting regular

i dunno, meds time i suppose.

Parents

  • I'm not sure what the point is to be honest. It's kind of like what's the point of life? I often wonder this myself. I wake up, eat food, drink water, battle my voices, maybe listen to a song, go to bed and it all repeats again the next day. But why? Is there a point?

    It's a weird thing really and I do not understand it, understand where we're going or why we keep doing it.

    Hopefully the thoughts will go or improve for you because I know that they can be overwhelming in the end.

    Hope your meds help a little. I'm not sure about you but I have ADHD and this can intensify things like this.

    Take care of yourself.

    Luna x 

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  • I'm not sure what the point is to be honest. It's kind of like what's the point of life? I often wonder this myself. I wake up, eat food, drink water, battle my voices, maybe listen to a song, go to bed and it all repeats again the next day. But why? Is there a point?

    It's a weird thing really and I do not understand it, understand where we're going or why we keep doing it.

    Hopefully the thoughts will go or improve for you because I know that they can be overwhelming in the end.

    Hope your meds help a little. I'm not sure about you but I have ADHD and this can intensify things like this.

    Take care of yourself.

    Luna x 

Children
  • in reply to Luna

    yeah, its, i dunno, just survival i suppose, waiting, hoping something changes, trying to just "get on with things", i dunno,.

    just, its the reason i didn't move out in first place, but then i was pushed further and further and then kicked out and, ah those "people " mean nothing anyway.

    i'll be ok, just have to "stand tall" put things aside and try my best to just push through it all.

    i have borderline personality disorder, so meds are quetiapine as a mood stabiliser, so that's always fun lol, least they let me sleep through, not asd diagnosed ss yet.

    thank you luna.you too