so is this my life? all i have to look forward to?

i dunno, im expecting the point to be missed as it always has been, perhaps thats my fault though.

im currently just sitting on floor, listening to music, about to take meds and go bed because all i have is this bloody voluntary job, and nothing else, i dony see any friendships coming from it, not that i have a problem with anyone at work.

all im doing is just going in, working long as possible, acting a prat at times, which, well, i don't take myself seriously i suppose so no problem with that as such.

going "home" to this junkie ridden cesspit, sleeping, putting everything i can to the back of my head, not dealing with it because im getting barely any nhs support relevant to ny problems, waiting waiting waiting, working working working, 

why? even if and when i get moved to somewhere permanent, what reason do i have to even bother? yeah, im trying bloody hard to just get through what ive been going through for over a year now, but, i dunno, just dont see the point, my life will still be the same, wherever i live and whatever i do, 

im also drinking again, not getting drunk, just ,2 cans now and again but getting regular

i dunno, meds time i suppose.

Parents
  • I think we autistics find change so terrifying and hard to process that we can get stuck in the same rut for far too long. We can recognise that something has to change, in order to achieve happiness, but at the same time cannot cope with change.

    I think you already know that alcohol is not the answer. I'm saying that as someone who has just woken with the hangover from hell, after using it to try and blot out my feelings. No it didn't make me feel any better.

Reply
  • I think we autistics find change so terrifying and hard to process that we can get stuck in the same rut for far too long. We can recognise that something has to change, in order to achieve happiness, but at the same time cannot cope with change.

    I think you already know that alcohol is not the answer. I'm saying that as someone who has just woken with the hangover from hell, after using it to try and blot out my feelings. No it didn't make me feel any better.

Children