so is this my life? all i have to look forward to?

i dunno, im expecting the point to be missed as it always has been, perhaps thats my fault though.

im currently just sitting on floor, listening to music, about to take meds and go bed because all i have is this bloody voluntary job, and nothing else, i dony see any friendships coming from it, not that i have a problem with anyone at work.

all im doing is just going in, working long as possible, acting a prat at times, which, well, i don't take myself seriously i suppose so no problem with that as such.

going "home" to this junkie ridden cesspit, sleeping, putting everything i can to the back of my head, not dealing with it because im getting barely any nhs support relevant to ny problems, waiting waiting waiting, working working working, 

why? even if and when i get moved to somewhere permanent, what reason do i have to even bother? yeah, im trying bloody hard to just get through what ive been going through for over a year now, but, i dunno, just dont see the point, my life will still be the same, wherever i live and whatever i do, 

im also drinking again, not getting drunk, just ,2 cans now and again but getting regular

i dunno, meds time i suppose.

Parents
  • What's the point?

    The biggest question philosophers keep asking since beginning of mankind.

    Society denies us many ways  of how one can feel like there is purpose in continuing to live

    Raising offspring is one of those ways, but many of us won't get married, and won't have children,.

    Become valued member in a local community, so you can live to serve, as a teacher, politician, firefighter, medical doctor, etc

    Add something to the knowledge of mankind, but that is a path for very few, autistic or allistic

    Create art, that carries the problem that you probably won't become recognised in your lifetime

    I decided to write a book, so I won't try to cross to the other side before its done, at least I get my sentence suspended Stuck out tongue

  • Well written. I love your messages I feel like I learn so much from you. Grinning

    Good luck with your book. What's it about?

  • It's scifi in Warhammer Universe, I plan a small revolution in regard to the panteon of gods, I'll depose one them - The God Emperor of Mankind has to go into history Stuck out tongue

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