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so is this my life? all i have to look forward to?

deadsponge

i dunno, im expecting the point to be missed as it always has been, perhaps thats my fault though.

im currently just sitting on floor, listening to music, about to take meds and go bed because all i have is this bloody voluntary job, and nothing else, i dony see any friendships coming from it, not that i have a problem with anyone at work.

all im doing is just going in, working long as possible, acting a prat at times, which, well, i don't take myself seriously i suppose so no problem with that as such.

going "home" to this junkie ridden cesspit, sleeping, putting everything i can to the back of my head, not dealing with it because im getting barely any nhs support relevant to ny problems, waiting waiting waiting, working working working, 

why? even if and when i get moved to somewhere permanent, what reason do i have to even bother? yeah, im trying bloody hard to just get through what ive been going through for over a year now, but, i dunno, just dont see the point, my life will still be the same, wherever i live and whatever i do, 

im also drinking again, not getting drunk, just ,2 cans now and again but getting regular

i dunno, meds time i suppose.

Parents

  • Do you have a hobby? Or a special interest?

    Also, I find that detaching from the White Noise of Society helps. I no longer watch TV. So, I'm not engulfed in the hyperbole of Love Island and Ukraine. It's a Cattle Market out there.

    Social Media is, also, the most antisocial things in Christendom. It turns us into snoops. We have to know everyone else's business. Ego sells. 

    Life is beyond explanation. However, action is key. Ditch the junk, and focus on wholeness. 

  • in reply to Desmond79

    i kind of dont know, like, everything just seems im just doing it to get through the day, and i find it hard to recognise hobbies and interests.

    ive gone into work today, 18mins til opening, think im gonna have to do some serious "masking" if it is what i believe masking to mean, but im just feeling low, dealt with far worse and at least i know how im feeling and emotions arent all over the place

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  • in reply to Desmond79

    i kind of dont know, like, everything just seems im just doing it to get through the day, and i find it hard to recognise hobbies and interests.

    ive gone into work today, 18mins til opening, think im gonna have to do some serious "masking" if it is what i believe masking to mean, but im just feeling low, dealt with far worse and at least i know how im feeling and emotions arent all over the place

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