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Married to a marvellous man who is on the spectrum

NAS24341
over 7 years ago

Hi

I'm new here, I am married to a wonderful man who is on the spectrum, he was diagnosed at about 12. Our relationship is brilliant 95% of the time, it's the other 5% that I sometimes struggle to deal with.

I am hoping to learn and share with you all.

thanks 

Parents
  • over 7 years ago

    Hi lovely

    my husband struggles with me but sticks it out...which I am thankful for. Your husband struggles just as much as you and there is a very good chance that he is well aware than he can be a  challenge. Rest assured it is not on purpose that those times are difficult. He loves you, and probably  wouldn't want to  be without you....he is probably feeling v.guilty that he is not straight forward (I feel guilty and insecure about it everyday) - so try and think of the positives.

  • over 7 years ago in reply to .

    Hi there, thank you for the reply, it really helps. I often try to be optimistic but it can be a real struggle. I just want to wrap him in a bubble sometimes to protect him. How do you deal with work? My husband works but has found it so stressful that he has alopecia on his head and face

  • over 7 years ago in reply to NAS24341

    If he has a diagnosis he can ask for a workplace assessment for adjustments. Most adults who can get employment on the spectrum have only minor adjustments needed. My SO has ADHD and his only adjustments are A4 spiral bound notebooks and a place where he can work standing up if he's very distracted.

    The other adjustment around home is to think "stability of routine". People with ASD are visual. We have visual reminders of routine for my step daughter. It benefits everyone.

    Sometimes I get a bit bummed out about some of the routine bits that can have restrictions on me. My step daughter has food restrictions due to her ASD. 90% of the time we cook for her limits. 10% we cook for us with a variation for her.

    I say the big thing is to be prepared to be surprised.   When i think I  have SD16 sussed she goes and shows me a special part of her mind.

     Loud soundMega

  • over 7 years ago in reply to .

    He has said all of this to his boss, i.e written emails, sticking to procedures etc but I don't think that his boss fully understands the structure he needs. I just want him to be happy. I have told my husband that his work need an education in autism and the spectrum.

Reply
  • over 7 years ago in reply to .

    He has said all of this to his boss, i.e written emails, sticking to procedures etc but I don't think that his boss fully understands the structure he needs. I just want him to be happy. I have told my husband that his work need an education in autism and the spectrum.

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