Married to a marvellous man who is on the spectrum

Hi lovely

my husband struggles with me but sticks it out...which I am thankful for. Your husband struggles just as much as you and there is a very good chance that he is well aware than he can be a  challenge. Rest assured it is not on purpose that those times are difficult. He loves you, and probably  wouldn't want to  be without you....he is probably feeling v.guilty that he is not straight forward (I feel guilty and insecure about it everyday) - so try and think of the positives.

Hi there, thank you for the reply, it really helps. I often try to be optimistic but it can be a real struggle. I just want to wrap him in a bubble sometimes to protect him. How do you deal with work? My husband works but has found it so stressful that he has alopecia on his head and face

Hey 24341

i do find work stressful...but I wear a big mask! I work as a teacher so lessons are planned and you can pretty well gauge how interactions will go....it is a bit like being an actor on a stage, and I am talking about my subject topic and not me - so that creates another safety barrier.  

Once home, I can switch out of that 'role' and back to me. It can be v stressful and tiring....I had 3 months off work a couple of years ago when my "elastic snapped" and I had a small breakdown....still not fully recovered from that...so the mask has got a bit bigger to compensate...and as you'd expect it now takes me longer to chip off that mask at the end of the day...

has your husband been diagnosed? Is he able to ask for adjustments at work...I.e a quieter working environment....tasks given in writing rather than verbally etc 

Hi, yes he has been diagnosed, when he was 12. He works in car sales, it's the only work that makes him happy but dealing with other people at work is majorly stressing him out. I don't know how to support him. He seems to be permanently unhappy with the situation but then he won't do anything to change it. I feel he is slipping further and further away from me.

Hi, yes he has been diagnosed, when he was 12. He works in car sales, it's the only work that makes him happy but dealing with other people at work is majorly stressing him out. I don't know how to support him. He seems to be permanently unhappy with the situation but then he won't do anything to change it. I feel he is slipping further and further away from me.