Hi I'm a mum to a son undergoing diagnosis - end date October 2017

Hi Donna,  I can understand about your anxiety, I was the same with Matthew. It's taken me 3 years to get his diagnosis. Getting past the GP was the hardest part, one even dismissed the possibility completely and spoke to me like I was stupid  because "autism isn't diagnosed at this age. (12 at the time). He would have been diagnosed in primary school if he had it". Utter rubbish! We were both gutted when the doctor said that. Matthew had asked me to take him because he was having trouble controlling himself and he even said that he thought he was autistic.  He was eventually referred to children's mental health about his anxiety and within 5 minutes his specialist was talking about autism. She has been fantastic this year and has helped him a lot. These people really know their stuff so try not to worry about not getting the diagnosis. October will soon come round and like you said you can start to get back on track properly then.  Good to hear you sounding more positive and I'm glad the counselling is helping.  

Hi, am new here and waiting on a diagnosis for my son as well. I just wanted to say that, although it seems bleak right now, you are doing a great job. I cannot imagine how difficult dealing with getting a diagnosis as a single mum must be. It sounds as if you are getting the help you need to get out of your depression and things will get better. I really admire how hard you are working to get things sorted out. 

Thank yoh Mrskbell, I am benefitting from the counselling I must admit, work know about my situation due to me having to leave when he has been excluded.  Work are supportive and it has helped to take time out as summer holidays have been fine but he has to return to mainstream with support until he is diagnosed which is scheduled for October.  I am unable to do anything and move forward until then but there's light at the end of the tunnel I guess and I'm am hopeful that this will open more doors for him.

Hi Julie

Thanks for replying, I have my Mam and friends for support however this is minimal due to life-work commitments and my Mam lives in another town.  I haven't explained any assessments to my son yet as I have anxiety about him not getting a diagnosis which I'm told by professionals is unlikely but I'm still cautious.  I am relieved he is being assessed for this as I've known there was something since he was very young so that part of it is a positive.  I think the depression stems from 2 plus years of tough times coming to a head and lack of control over the situation so will just have to ride it out using counselling, antidepressants and CBT when it starts.  I am just waiting until October for his diagnosis and then maybe I can get him settled into a School and my life back on track.

Thanks for your support. It is hugely appreciated.

Hi Palbus, thanks for that and when I am starting to feel more motivated I will give this a go as when my counselling is finished I am having a break and then beginning 12 weeks CBT which I am presuming will involve something similar.

Hi Nellie, thanks for the links I will definitely have a look at these to gather information.

Hi, I didn't want to read and run but just off to sleep! I had a breakdown last year so have a little bit of an idea of what you are going through. My problem was that I was working full time and not telling anyone at work or friends what we were going through. Talking is the best medicine and take your GP's advice, in a few weeks you WILL feel much better and in the mean time, stay on here and chat! Take care of yourself xx

Hi Donna.

I've got a fair idea about how you feel. I've suffered with depression and anxiety for years and my son got his diagnosis this morning. It sounds to me like you're pretty much at rock bottom but things will get better, I promise. The hardest part is asking for help and you've already done that . Medication and counselling will work given time. 

Do you get any help with your children from family/friends. As much as we love them we all need a break and time for ourselves . You must be under an awful lot of stress. What are you anxious about, the assessment process? My son was nervous about it at first but enjoyed it and looked forward to his appointments. It was a big relief for him when somebody understood how he was feeling and finally took him seriously. He has been much calmer and easier to live with since the process started. How does your son feel about being assessed?

Depression does this to people. They get out of bed in the morning feeling tired. Days drag. Motivation and Energy are both very Low. This has to be changed. My advice. Sit your and think "What makes me feel really happy / Good?" . No holds barred and you don't have to tell anyone but you what it is. Then sit down and plan how you are going to successfully do whatever it is that makes you happy. I will share with you mine [although I don't have to] I have a passion for powerful motorcycles. I am ecstatically happy [big big big grin] when on one, doing a straight Roman road, a nice dry sunny day, at about 100 mph or so. So I put all my energies into achieving this goal. I have a license, no bike, no money, no insurance so a few things to overcome. 

The thing is planning a really wonderful activity like this WILL get your mojo back and you start to feel better about yourself, everyone around you, life in general. I also suggest sitting and thinking that you have a box. In that box are all the things that are great about your life. Sit, meditate, take each of these wonderful items out of the box and place it in your mind on the floor next to the box. When the box is empty, very carefully pick up each item, in mind wrap it in gold foil and having given thanks for it replace it very carefully in the box. Do this every day.

Whilst you are doing the above book an appointment with your GP go and pour your heart out about how you feel. This is very scary. I took my daughter with me, she works in mental health and knows how these things pan out. I felt very much better knowing We Were doing something about my problem. Once a week I did a CBT session on my computer and again talking to my therapist every week was a great help. In about 8 weeks I was signed off and restored to my old self. Well almost, to be honest it takes about twice that time BUT I could cope after 8 weeks and well on the mend.

i hope this helps in some way, I don't know you so it is dificult to advise but if I tell you my story you might be suitably encouraged in fighting your own battle, and winning is very good.

Cheers Buddy

Hi Donna3012,

Welcome to the community. I thought I'd list a few links below which you may find useful:

The first provides some general information about autism: http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/what-is-autism.aspx.

Next, this link provides some information on getting a diagnosis: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/children.aspx.

The main things parents should be expecting and asking for during assessment are those outlined in the National Autism Plan for Children. You can look at the NAPC using a link at the bottom of the following page:National Autism Plan for Children (2003): executive summary, full report, details of speakers, appendices. http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/children.aspx.

You may also want to look at our section that provides advice for parents, relatives and carers of people with autism
http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/parents-relatives-and-carers.aspx.

Additionally, if you wish to find support in your local area it may be worth searching on the Autism Services Directory for support groups near to you: http://www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx.

Finally, if you'd like to speak to someone on a one-to-one basis, it may be worth ringing the Autism Helpline. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm), although please note that the Helpline is experiencing increasingly high demand, and you may not reach them straight away.

Please see the following link for further information:

http://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main.aspx

Best wishes,

Nellie-Mod