Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
Firstly, sorry if this is the wrong place to post this and sorry if I'm too young (16).
For a year or so I have wondered if I might have Aspergers (I'm a 16 year old female), and wondered what people here think?
I have always been the shy and socially awkward kid who doesn't really fit in, and I have been bullied/teased for not fitting in (e.g not wearing makeup). Possibly as a result, I tend to avoid talking to people I don't know (through fear of getting it wrong I suppose, before when I've tried what I've said has never seemed right if that makes sense?), and absolutley avoid eye contact because I find it awkward and uncomfortable, even for a second. At school, I am generally in the top sets, being especially strong in maths (perhaps one of the best in the year). Although, I do doubt myself and my abilities, and always have to triple (if not more) check the time and details if I am meeting someone or going somewhere.
I didn't realise it before, but I do become obsessed with things. For example, a few years ago (and still) it was a pony, when I was younger I was interested in mountain goats and had a folder full of information about them!! In addition, I used to have a lot of tantrums and strops when I was younger (perhaps meltdowns?), and cracked the paintwork in my room through slamming the door!
There are a few more things but I feel like I've written too much already!! Could this be Aspergers, or is it just me trying to explain why I don't fit in?
Thanks in advance for any advice, and sorry again if I have posted this in the wrong place x
Anonymous said:Not sure about CBT but if it teaches strategies for navigating a Neuro-Typical world then that has to be a good thing.
Not sure about CBT but if it teaches strategies for navigating a Neuro-Typical world then that has to be a good thing.
CBT is one tool that helps people become more accepting/less critical of themselves. All people make mistakes, or have misunderstandings in their dealings with the world. People with autism have more than their share and the repeated confrontations etc can be taken too much to heart and the world can seem to be a bleak and hostile place. CBT helps you to take a more positive outlook on the situation, mistakes are events that we can learn from, the mistakes are not as serious as we thought they were, a lot of things will come right if you have another attempt at the problem. CBT helps you to challenge your thinking and to look to the future.
A separate strand of learning how to deal with autism is to understand more about how our interactions go wrong. If you can learn about how things go wrong then you can learn strategies to avoid the situation or to deal with the situation better next time. So, I have learnt to be more patient when dealing with people. I expect not to get my message across and I expect to misunderstand other people. I have learnt that I can admit a mistake and have another go in an awful lot of situations. People are mostly forgiving of mistakes and I have adjusted my self image - I expect to be less right than I think I am and I expect to need more time in dealing with other people.
I think somebody said "knowledge is power" and I think that just about sums up why it's much better to know oneself than always wonder what the problem is.
Pluto123 said:Hi Paul,I have just done the test (twice) and got 38 each time...Pluto
Hi Paul,
I have just done the test (twice) and got 38 each time...
Pluto
That's quite a good indicator that you might well be an Aspie.
Talk to your GP as well and please don't be fobbed off. Some GPs are great with this and some can be quite dismissive. It's a bit of a lottery I'm afraid.
Your GP will be able to refer you for a diagnostic assessment, though the waiting times can be quite long. I waited 6 months, others have had to wait a whole year.
Paul
recombinantsocks said:The test is actually very reliable and that result does suggest that you have the traits. You could discuss this with your GP but don't get your hopes up too high - there is no "cure" but they can prescribe some CBT therapy which can help.The first thing to say is that an awareness of condition can be a massive aid in understanding your reactions to situations, you can learn to avoid some situations and be aware of your reactions in other situations.
The test is actually very reliable and that result does suggest that you have the traits. You could discuss this with your GP but don't get your hopes up too high - there is no "cure" but they can prescribe some CBT therapy which can help.
The first thing to say is that an awareness of condition can be a massive aid in understanding your reactions to situations, you can learn to avoid some situations and be aware of your reactions in other situations.
Agree with all of that. Getting an official diagnosis was a relief to me as I fanally got an explanation as to why I felt that the world seems upside down.
recombinantsocks said:I just did that test and got 44! Last time I did that test I was around 36. Am I getting worse!?
I just did that test and got 44! Last time I did that test I was around 36. Am I getting worse!?
No, not worse, perhaps more aware of yourself and more honest or accurate with your answers?
A keen interest in ponies is fairly common in teenage girls! Some of the other behaviours are suggestive of autistic behaviour but they may, or may not, indicate a problem. You may well be on the autistic spectrum but that does not mean that you have a problem that needs any intervention or help. Some times people with the traits can manage perfectly well - I managed for a long time but eventually found myself in a situation where I couldn't fit in so things came off the rails a bit.
Many people with Aspergers really struggle and have anxieties or depression or other mental health issues. Do you have any problems like that or do you feel different and left out?
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In terms of other problems, I do get quite anxious, especially in new situations (I woory then annoy other people as I end up keep asking them the same questions to check, e.g what time is the event? etc.), and I won't talk in front of a class or anything (I get too nervous). I was fairly down for most of this year (never got diagnosed but had a large majority of symptom for depression), but that's slowly getting better. I'm not really sure otherwise.
recombinantsocks said: Some times people with the traits can manage perfectly well - I managed for a long time but eventually found myself in a situation where I couldn't fit in so things came off the rails a bit.
Some times people with the traits can manage perfectly well - I managed for a long time but eventually found myself in a situation where I couldn't fit in so things came off the rails a bit.
Exactly, rbs, which is why I think Pluto should perhaps have a chat with her GP, if only for advice. She may not have the problems of some people who are at the more extreme end of the autistic spectrum but she seems concerned about her behaviour and I think it is always a good idea to confront what today may not be such a problem that later on could turn into something worse.
I would have thought that her GP could at least offer an opinion and maybe provide her with more resources in the cause of trying to understand herself and how to cope in certain situations. After all, isn't this this the job of GP's? Too many people have had to suffer over the years because the information wasn't available that would have allowed them to obtain a diagnosis sooner and one would like to think this has changed significantly.
recombinantsocks said:No, not worse, perhaps more aware of yourself and more honest or accurate with your answers?
That sounds about right.
recombinantsocks said:A keen interest in ponies is fairly common in teenage girls!
A keen interest in ponies is fairly common in teenage girls!
Ponies yes, but mountain goats!?
recombinantsocks said:Some times people with the traits can manage perfectly well - I managed for a long time but eventually found myself in a situation where I couldn't fit in so things came off the rails a bit.
My situation exactly.
recombinantsocks said:Many people with Aspergers really struggle and have anxieties or depression or other mental health issues. Do you have any problems like that or do you feel different and left out?
I wish I'd had a diagnosis years ago so that all of this mental health stuff could have been avoided.
My personal advice would be to do the test, and if necessary get the diagnosis and then you know what you are dealing with. It could avoid a lot of heartache further down the line. Knowledge is power.
Anonymous said:I just did that test and got 44! Last time I did that test I was around 36. Am I getting worse!?
Hi Pluto
You are in the right place for someone with Aspergers and it's OK to post here. And you're not too young.
Social awkwardness and difficulty with eye contact? Almost obsessive focus on hobbies? Above average intelligence?
Yes, you have a good chance of having aspegers as they are classic traits.
Here's an AQ test: http://aqtest.net/
Do let us know your score.