Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, brand new here this morning :)
I'm a 34year old full time mum of 6 gorgeous kids, dd1 16, ds1 13 hf asd, ds2 7, dd2 4, dd3 2 and dd4 9months.
Dd1 & ds2 are full time school, dd's 2 & 3 are part time with 2 half days a fortnight at a childminders, ds1 and dd4 are home full time. Ds1 is HE due to (sn) school failing him! He's been HE now since Oct '14, we've been totally laid back up till now just mouching around, occasional trips, cooking at home, talking, loads of you tube vids etc oh and plenty of xbox haha.
I suffer with severe depression (questioning BPD) and on medication, I'm very held back/shy as I've never fitted in throught my life so I find new situations terribly hard to deal with so this obv doesn't help ds1 much.
I am married to a wonderful guy who I can not fault for the crap he takes from myself and ds1, but apart from him I have no support. My father passed away from cancer 4 years ago this July and I disowned my "mother" after years of verbal abuse and the occasional physical assault and haven't seen her for almost 9 years and certainly don't plan to any time soon either, all my grandparents have passed as well and so called friends don't bother with me, in fact just last week 1 caught dh at beavers and asked how I was as she hadn't seen me and I have left fb, bare in mind she walks past my house 4 times a day on school runs etc has my mobile number etc. So it basically is me and dh with the 6 kids (dh's dad died 2yr ago whilst his mum and brother (also asd) live an hour away so not much help).
Anyway that's me and mine please say hi I won't bite and I hope to get to know some of you x
Hello again,
Re tests and comparisons to others on the spectrum, don't expect to be exactly like others with ASD. When you meet someone on the spectrum, thats all you've done, you've met one person on the spectrum. No two people are the same. My sons have severe and complex difficulties and unique to them, although they share some issues, they don't share all the same between them. The gene pool was a bit shallow at my end, I suspect, as both my parents had Autism.
I'm a late diagnosed adult; obviously, but i've lived a very difficult life, due to my undiagnosed condition and it's caused me untold mental anguish.
For me, the process of diagnosis has been liberating, but drawn out. Their is no magic wand, but suddenly things fell into place and I had the missing part of the jigsaw. The upshot; I hope, is that I can live the balance of my life without continually beating myself with the metaphorical stick of 'failure,' all the time and also reduce my exposure to vulnerability.
I want to live the balance of my life in peace and without fear of harm any more. Well-being is my new 'buzz word' and I hope to help others in my position, as i have done my children.
Being on the spectrum; unwittingly, has given me an intuitive sense in helping my own children with strategies I once employed for myself, but it's also been a protracted and difficult journey, because I was undiagnosed for so long.
The main thing I've realised is that any progress has to be personally driven and made through acceptance, followed by self realization as to your own capabilities. A good work book toward that end, would be 'Living well on the Spectrum' by Valerie Gaus.
www.amazon.co.uk/.../1606236342
Diagnosis is only the first element of the process, from that point you are in charge of what you do with the infomation.
It's the only advice I can give i'm afraid. Keep an open mind and explore constantly.
Coogy
Hi Coogybear :) thanks for the reply funny you should question myself having asd as I was just reading through other posts and found an online test and thought I'll have a go see what it comes up with and bang there it is a score of 33 and reading other comments it's like looking at me but not all things and that stops me from picking the phone up and calling the docs, so think meh f**k it I'll just carry on *sigh* maybe I'll get there one day. As for the C4 show no I didn't I will get it up on telly now (only 2 at home childminder week lol) and will take a look. Everything is such a big deal for me, it all takes so much effort kwim? It's like it's all a chore how did you find the whole process of diagnosis for yourself?
Again thanks for the reply and welcome best go deal with the baba now she's up
Dizzy x
Hello and Welcome,
In your aloneness, you are most definately not alone. Their are many of us out their with the same issues of having to manage with no support, however, this forum is a great asset and good sounding board when things become a little too much or you just need to chat to someone who understands.
Re BPD, Did you happen to see the channel 4 program last week? Some extreme examples, but interesting to see the overlap with ASD in some instances.
www.channel4.com/.../being-bipolar
What you describe about not feeling as though you 'fit in' sounds as though it has elements of ASD in it. Have you looked into it?
I've just read a book about one aspie females experiences and her presentation. Very interesting.
www.amazon.com/.../ref=as_li_tl
I'm an Aspie female, mother of four, formerly diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety disorder, but have since received a diagnosis of ASD. Two of my children are on the spectrum and were diagnosed years ago, but it all makes much more sense to me now.
I hope you find some useful tips here.
Take care