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A quick hello

Just_Chris

Hello,

Never really quite sure what to say on these sorts of things, but here goes.

I'm a 43 year old autistic guy, although until maybe 10 years ago I wasn't diagnosed. I have masked heavily throughout my life but its becoming increasingly exhausting. I've been going through a really rough time recently with my mental health. I have suffered with depression for pretty much my whole life - PDD and MDD.

I have reached out for support and am on a waiting list for NHS Talking Therapies, something which I'm dreading. Talking about myself in person is something I find very difficult, to the point of literally not being able to speak. The person who did my assessment was kind enough to let me do the assessment off camera and by typing, which was a massive help. I've also had an appointment with a mental health practitioner at my GP surgery. For that, I had to type out everything beforehand and give it to him to read.

Anyway, both the talking therapies person and the MHP mentioned this place, so here I am.

The biggest challenge I'm facing at the moment is work. I really need to find a new job as my current one is killing me physically and mentally. I currently feel really burned out and shut down and when I'm not at work I pretty much sit quietly in the corner, which is really unfair on my partner. I really need something to change and and am exploring pretty much every suggestion I've been given so far.

Anyway, that's me. Thanks for reading!

  • in reply to Just_Chris

    FYI - when I found myself in a "proper tizzy" ... now understood to be a substantial 'burnout' ... I had all kinds of mad ideas about how things should change and that then (magically,) everything else would fall into perfect synchronicity ... I would settle and 'be my best self' [fingers down the back of the throat emoji]

    In fact, I still had to crash around the world making FU after FU whilst I sorted myself out.  I realised that I couldn't go back to when things were better, because the world had moved on....and I needed to as well.

    I think, this is a kindly warning to you....not to presume your state of mind will change quickly with just a change of job circumstance.  I learned this this slow and painful way.

    Best regards

  • in reply to Take5

    Thanks very much. Yeah, work isn't doing me any favours at the moment. I'm on the lookout something different though,  so fingers crossed.

  • Hello Chris, welcome home! Hugging 

    I hope you will find this community a good place to be. In the past I found this community very helpful. X.

  • Welcome Chris

    Im sorry you are struggling atm. I have had a little episode for the last week or so also. 
    I can’t offer much advice I’m afraid but know that I share your struggles and sympathise. I’m 49 years old, father of 2 boys (one is asd) and I’m looking to an assessment for myself. Discovering your neurodivergent does highlight everything and for me has made me feel more autistic if that makes sense. I hated it at first and had an awful time with it wherever I was I was alone and felt very down. It sounds to me like the work you do atm is the main reason for your struggles. I really hope you can do something about that in the future. I’m really lucky as I work for myself and I’m alone and even though it’s hard work I have a good chunk of time on my own and I think this is what keeps me going. I have been employed 20 ish years ago and really struggled as I was around a lot of people. 

    Sorry I cannot offer any advice but just know there are a lot of us on here that shares your experiences 

  • in reply to Just_Chris

    Looks like you might be a good omen for this place Chris......you appearance has coincided with the re-emergence of a beloved missing traveller who has just popped back into this place #Debbie.  And honestly, I think this place can help many people, not necessarily in the longer term, but defo for a wee while at least.

    You are welcome here.

  • Just_Chris said:
    Anyway, both the talking therapies person and the MHP mentioned this place, so here I am.

    Well, that almost feels embarrassing at a moment. This forum seems to run in cycles of activity, and at the moment, we are in a part of that cycle that is possibly best described as .... ummm .....sparce.

    It is great that you are reaching out a bit....see if anyone else "gets it".....and be reassured, you write clearly and resonantly to many people who have passed through the experience you are currently enduring.  It is a tough time and it lasts longer than anyone would wish for.

    If you and your partner are wholly sound (as a relationship) and this is "merely" JUST YOU having some well earned and/or whollly essential "crisis time" (for whatever reason that may be,) then I would imagine that it will be fine, in the long run, if you can PLEASE try to stay sane during this most confusing time of your life.

    I am sorry that more of us are not here for you at the moment, don't take it personally, we're just all a bit "doldrums" on the forum at the moment.  I hope you choose to stick around for a while and maybe you'll find something helpful along the way.  I have done.

    Be well.

    Number.