Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm going to try this out, I don't normally post online - hello! My daughter was diagnosed as autistic last year, so naturally I wanted to research all I could to learn how to support her. The problem I found though was that the more I read/learned about it, the more I started to relate to everything myself - spotting traits and things I have or currently do, experiences in my life that could be explained by autism, and so on. I've now felt very confused about who I think I am for months.
I'm in my 40's and spent a lot of my recent years using therapy to improve my mental health, trying to be positive minded and push through certain things I need to feel happy but find really uncomfortable (basically socialising). I just thought I was introverted, shy and socially anxious and settled on that, but these new ideas have me questioning my whole identity - was it always something else? And if it was, have I been wasting my life so far trying to be "normal" like everyone else only to discover that it was never going to happen?
I could get a more formal diagnosis I suppose, but it is time consuming and potentially expensive. I'm also a little apprehensive of the outcome - I could get an answer I don't want to hear, yet I also don't like the idea of never knowing (paradoxical, I know). Has anyone ever just decided that they are autistic and settled for that? I'd be interested to know.
Hi, my mum has experienced similar. I was diagnosed when 25 and we realised she most likely is also autistic (she was 55 ). I know lots of autistic people benefit from a late diagnosis but my mum is very happy with the way she is- she had already accepted herself the way she is. She says she knows she’s different but for her it doesn’t matter now what that is called. She has one really close friend that she’s had since her teens (who may also be undiagnosed autistic). And she’s quite happy with the way things are, she’s self employed now and working from home (so no need for reasonable adjustments at work) so she feels no desire at all to seek a formal diagnosis. We do talk about being autistic sometimes as I am struggling much more and it helps to talk to someone that understands. I really thinks it’s great she is in a place where she has accepted herself. I think it is perfectly valid to self-identify as autistic. You could always go on the NHS waiting list in case you change your mind about a formal diagnosis over next years- it’s a long wait anyways.
Thank you everyone, this is helping me. I'm thinking at the moment that I just need time to accept what could be - I've found that it may take me a while to make a decision, but once I have that it is settled in my mind and that's that. I also liked what @justbe said - whatever happens, we're still who we originally are.
Aspergerstestsite.com has a free diy self test.
I scored the same on the official test, so it was accurate for me..
I'm similar, I was in long term depth psychotherapy treatment for mental ill health from 2007 aged 34. I was diagnosed through NHS with chronic mental ill health (Dysthymia) in 2010. I hadn't really considered Autism and it wasn't on my radar until my GP suggested and offered for me to perhaps explore the autism assessment process pathway through NHS in 2019. I did this and the outcome was I was diagnosed Autism Level 1 in late 2021 (delayed by coronavirus partly) aged 48.
After extensive research I came to the conclusion that being autistic was the best fit to describe how I was. However, I still needed a clinical diagnosis in order to validate my self diagnosis. I required a sense of closure.
It's nice to see that someone else sees it the same way as I do. Thanks for sharing.
I'm also on the NHS pathway. A few months after being put on the waiting list I had a letter to say I had passed the first stage. Thus, and the fact that my GP was happy to put me on the list was all I really need for now. I know i am autistic.
Hi,
My autism revelation is very recent (end of November 2023). I'm 53 years old. I can relate. I made this discovery after my granddaughter was experiencing difficulties. I have gone down the NHS route. An ASD assessment referral was submitted, and it's been accepted. There is a two year wait for the assessment in my area.
Personally the fact that they have accepted the referral, may be all the recognition I need. I have 2 years to decide whether or not to go for the official diagnosis. I believe I am truly autistic. It all makes so much sense.
Post revelation - for a while I questioned who I was. But I've discovered I'm still me. I just understand myself better. I'm more aware of my behaviours and needs. And I'm kinder to myself. So although it was a bit of a shock initially, I'm finding it quite freeing.
I hope my story is of help.
It helped me make sense of things. If i didnt get a diagnosis...I would be in the same place and always wondering why i acted certain ways..... sara heath is very affordable if you dont want to wait on the NHS. Some NHS services, Well the one i attended expect a stereotypical autistic individual to walk in and start talking about trains. You want someone who knows what to look for and understands.