Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm going to try this out, I don't normally post online - hello! My daughter was diagnosed as autistic last year, so naturally I wanted to research all I could to learn how to support her. The problem I found though was that the more I read/learned about it, the more I started to relate to everything myself - spotting traits and things I have or currently do, experiences in my life that could be explained by autism, and so on. I've now felt very confused about who I think I am for months.
I'm in my 40's and spent a lot of my recent years using therapy to improve my mental health, trying to be positive minded and push through certain things I need to feel happy but find really uncomfortable (basically socialising). I just thought I was introverted, shy and socially anxious and settled on that, but these new ideas have me questioning my whole identity - was it always something else? And if it was, have I been wasting my life so far trying to be "normal" like everyone else only to discover that it was never going to happen?
I could get a more formal diagnosis I suppose, but it is time consuming and potentially expensive. I'm also a little apprehensive of the outcome - I could get an answer I don't want to hear, yet I also don't like the idea of never knowing (paradoxical, I know). Has anyone ever just decided that they are autistic and settled for that? I'd be interested to know.
Hi, my mum has experienced similar. I was diagnosed when 25 and we realised she most likely is also autistic (she was 55 ). I know lots of autistic people benefit from a late diagnosis but my mum is very happy with the way she is- she had already accepted herself the way she is. She says she knows she’s different but for her it doesn’t matter now what that is called. She has one really close friend that she’s had since her teens (who may also be undiagnosed autistic). And she’s quite happy with the way things are, she’s self employed now and working from home (so no need for reasonable adjustments at work) so she feels no desire at all to seek a formal diagnosis. We do talk about being autistic sometimes as I am struggling much more and it helps to talk to someone that understands. I really thinks it’s great she is in a place where she has accepted herself. I think it is perfectly valid to self-identify as autistic. You could always go on the NHS waiting list in case you change your mind about a formal diagnosis over next years- it’s a long wait anyways.