Daughter starting university

Get involved. University was the making of me though it took time. I was severely depressed when I first started due to a traumatic experience that happened only about 3 weeks before me starting so it was a rough ride but I am now a completely different person. I joined the schools Student Staff Committee and am now about to start my third year as its co-chair. I've done public speaking at events (never would've before) and I have a society that I love to take part in. I signed up to a bunch of fun activities run through the SU during my Freshers week and I felt so confident afterwards, even if I didn't make any friends there. 

I also have ADHD and autism and university truly made me the happiest I've ever been.

But it does take time and it does take effort. If she takes advantage of things like office hours, committees etc, she will be known and respected by her peers and lecturers, which makes life a lot easier when you have issues rock up. 

University can be a great time in your life, even as an autist so I hope your daughter can get into the experience and enjoy it.

I recall the first week before term starts (freshers week) is a great time to meet other people in your age group who are similar to yourself in many ways. With social clubs, random encounters, shared interests and lots of hookups on the go it can be awesome.

Most freshers are quite open to new friendships, encounters and experiences, will have cash in their pockets to have fun with and may well make unwise decisions, but this is all part of growing up anyway.

If you haven't already had the talk about sex with your daughter then I would recommned doing it soon. With the prevelance of alcohol and hot boys/girls available and interested then there is a high chance of some shenanagans on the go so it is best she know what to expect, how to say no and how to be prepared if she wants to say yes.

Alcohol is also a bit of a danger to some degree. I recall most days involving the new found freedom to drink although the shine wore off when I realised how much I was spending...

Money management is also a tricky one for many students to control - I would recommend checking in with her to check she is tracking and managing her resources well. In my first year I recall running out of cash towards the end of each term and needing to get some sent from home - I learned from it but with a bit of forethought it would not have been an issue.

On the plus side I did join lots of clubs where I met people with similar interests and this gave a rich and rewarding backdrop to the first year that was a breeze academically.

On the study front it is good for your daughter to check in with the support available with her and try to use it. The workload starts out quite light and ramps up term after term so she may not use it initially but it is worth having them available and familiar for when she needs them.

The obvious stuff (like buying books from previous years students for your coursework is a great way to save money) is worth doing quickly as they soon dry up.

Thats about all I can think of now.

It will be a great chance for her to find herself and express herself as an adult so please be tolerant is some aspects of her personality become more prevelant - she may become an environmental activist, come out as gay, want to take in a refugee etc - best to take these as potentially a transitionary thing but be prepared that she may settle on some of these as her core ideals at the end.

Hi! For me going to university made things so much easier socially! I made friends for the first time ever as I met likeminded people. I didn’t know I was autistic at the time but I did know that there was something different about me. My main advice would be to be yourself. I thought I had to try and be all social in freshers week and I even went on a pub crawl (first and last one ever in my life)- but this is just not for me- I don’t drink I don’t like parties or big group social events and I soon realised this was fine. I made most of my friends through my course or through going to talks (i love science). I did withdraw rather a lot in my room, and later on I sometimes felt like I should have maybe tried to meet some more people (as I actually ended up becoming friends with some people from my undergrad after graduating and I had met them first in freshers week, liked them but then somehow never really saw them much. But at least we did become friends eventually). It’s a balance- I think it’s really important to not overstretch yourself socially but doing things sometimes where you can meet people (eg. join a society about something you are interested in or drop that person that seems nice a message and see if they want to go for coffee or a walk together etc) is also a good idea even if it takes some courage. Not sure if any of this is helpful- I am actually a PhD student now. I wasn’t  a student for 1.5 years after my masters and it is definitely easier socially whilst at university- at least for me. 
I think your daughter has an exciting time ahead!!

in terms of support from university I would encourage her to accept whatever they can offer- I didn’t have a diagnosis in my bachelor and masters but I do now and I have been able to access support (eg. Mentoring etc). And if anything is challenging, it’s a good idea to reach out early on- there are often a lot of things that can be done to help! 
best of luck to your daughter- I hope it works out !!