Mental Health

Hi, Yes sadly there is no specialised mental health support for autistic adults as far as I know and it really depends on who you get as a therapist... I have had very bad experiences in the past being misdiagnosed and receiving inappropriate advice which ultimately worsened my mental and physical health and resulted in more problems. There are some people who do understand- my dietitian has provided me with the best support all around that I have had. If you do get some mental health support my advice is to listen to your instincts- yes give it a bit of time but if it doesn’t feel right, speak up and consider asking for a different counsellor or stopping and looking for other support. I do think there are people out there who have a better understanding of autism but it’s rare.

Samaritans can be very good in a crisis. Also reaching out on this forum is a good idea. It’s not true there is nothing you can do! There are so many things you can do. Think about what things in your life you are unhappy about or are causing stress and if you could change them consider it- external factors and the environment we are in play a huge huge role. Of course the other part is how we deal with things and stress but the external factors are important too. Do you have any hobbies you like or used to like? Anything that relaxes you? Or a project you could start? It helps me a lot to have a project and aims. Have you been diagnosed recently? It does take time to process! At least for me it is taking time. I actually really struggled with my physical and mental health for a while but I recently made a big big change, moved, started studying again etc and it was terryfing to go for it but I can feel that now I can finally settle- i still stress but I am in a much better environment and it makes a huge difference. 
i hope things get better! They will eventually!

Trouble is MH understand nothing and don't know what to do. I just wish they were honest enough to say that.

This goes wrong in both directions - they are either over misdiagnosing autistic people with conditions they don't have or else denying they have any at all because it's "just the autism".

The sad truth is their training isn't up to scratch.

If you can afford it you might have better luck with a properly autism informed private therapist. Meanwhile, it sounds like your husband could use some "carer's support". He is entitled to an assessment for that.

They've let me down big time in the past. I won't touch MH with a barge pole now.

It took me the best part of a decade to get out of "the pit" of depression so yes I know how you feel. And sadly Autistic specific support is woefully lacking but that is why we exist here as a forum to at least hear eachother and try to provide support in our own ways.

More immediately call Samaritans if you have suicidal ideation, it's the only thing they are good for but they at least do that really well.

If you are in the slow spiral of daily depression and you have something like iTalk (or similar service for your area) then call them or get your GP to reffer you.
Autism changes the lens through which we experience depression, and for more effective therapy an Autism sensitive/trained therapist is better but it should not be a barrier to at least having access to the same services and therapists/councilors as NT people dealing with depression if you need help sooner rather than later.

Also you can always come in here and type/talk to us on the forum in the mean time, and forever if you want, we are a community for a reason.