Does anyone else just "close down"?

Glad to see you back RockChick.

Yes going through this right now. I work 3 days a week but the rest of the time I just can't deal with things at the moment. I'm exhausted... I love to paint and do art but haven't managed anything for months now! I've even stopped posting on here/social media recently. 

You're not alone. Burn out sucks.

Understanding other humans can be hard work.  Sometimes the more you understand them the less you want to be around them.

Anyway. I don't think i'm the worlds best life coach.  I would caution you about looking for advice from other Autistics as we generally do not understand the world very well.

You are probably in a burn out phase.

I can’t do anything when I burn out, and that included talking, showering, cooking, eating.

Interests do come and go. I would suggest choosing one of those interests, and doing it for a very short amount of time. Aim to repeat this a couple of times a week, and increase when you are able. Might be best ti start with working out. Just 10 minutes. It might be very hard to motivate yourself, and you probably won’t feel any better for it, but it will be helping you.

I close down by going completely offline, switching all my phones off and not opening my mail.  I've done it many times.

Hi Allfunktup,

I think Roy and out_of_step have given the advice between them that I would have said.  Personally, I had (what I like to call) a Mega Burnout.  For basically 12 months, I stayed away from everyone and did not work nor do my hobbies.  I couldn't be bothered nor felt able to do anything useful.  It was super frustrating and very upsetting.  Self loathing was my main sensation ALL the time!

I hope you are able to rest as you need to.  I hope you can maintain your sanity!

If I had known of this forum....and the fact that I am Autistic, then I suspect I would have recovered more quickly.

Don't be hard on yourself.

Best regards

Number.

out_of_step said:

Why can't I do them like I did before!?

This! I don't feel so depressed this time, just trouble understanding what to do an dhow long this will last. I think I just have to ride it out.

I think that's what I've done  given up aspects of outside life". I'm not sure I intended to, or how I feel about it. Weird thing is I used to do this repeatedly and when I was younger and get really down and destructive when it happened like I was tired of trying to keep up. Eventually I would move on. This time I feel like I'm watching it in slow motion. I'm not sure it this is progress or not. Maybe it's because this time round I think I'm armed with ND knowledge?

I was never envious, but insanely angry at NTs - like they wanted me to carry on despite how many time I broke down. Like nothing was more important to them than my pretending to be normal whether I liked it or not.  "I was living to spite them in my head! You want normal? Get a load of this!" 

Right now who knows what I'm doing.

I have felt like this before and I now understand it was burnout. I didn't feel depressed as such. My hobbies went by the wayside and I put too much pressure on myself. Why can't I do them like I did before!? Things didn't interest me the same but I also found starting tasks to be more difficult. I also felt lost without having anything to put my teeth into. I think most of my energy was put into getting through each day so there wasnt much left for anything else. I've started emerging out of this now but it's taken a long time (changes in my life and environment have been put in place) and have found hobbies and interests returning. So I'm saying from my perspective it could be burnout and if you can address this, things can come back.

Yes. i gave up on most aspects of actual outside life many years ago.  I now generally stick to the house.  I might add  walking to my routine again soon.  If i can fight through being so depressed and come out the other side of that.  As soon as i hit the pavement it's like remembering what you could have won.  The faceless NT's passing you in the streets.  I mean, i'm sure most of them are miserable too, given that's it's the UK in 2023.  But i will never stop envying them. The best an Autistic can do is suppress your envy of regular folk.  Some will be better than others at that.

Thanks Roy!

My doctors Surgery just started updating records on link so I can see my history.  I just looked out of curiosity to see how far they were able to go back. It's not very detailed, just a list of my doctors diagnoses. My mother was very close to out family doctor, so I imagine she didn't any "fuss" made about certain things so I wasn't told.

I think most practices try to update their records with what they have. I'm not sure when they updated it though.

Thanks VLD. You're probably right.  I'm just miffed that I don't seem to identify it.

demotivated and tired perhaps is the feeling... which is a part of depression so yes it probably is depression or stress of some kind.

Hi, it’s sounds like you are in a massive burnout, I’m in my mid fifties and am just starting to come out of a year long burnout.  I know exactly where you are coming from, I’ve lost interest in everything, I’ve always enjoyed my work but I don’t even have interest in that. I have built up to working 4 days per week and shorter days. There is no magic cure, I found rest and less contact with people helped, try just one of your hobbies, I found with a little perseverance I ignited a small spark again. As has been said, you need to be kind to yourself and do as much as you are comfortable with.

I was interested in the fact you have obtained your hospital records, I was hospitalised for a long period as a child, all I remember was I had teeth removed and totally shutdown, I remember a GP calling at the house and my mother telling me I was dehydrated, I was in hospital for weeks, I didn’t have a cannula, it was that long a time I remember having school lessons in a one to one situation in hospital. I would love to find my hospital records, I don’t think I was told everything. I didn’t know records were kept for so long. How did you go about getting your records?

Take care, now the weather is getting better, I find walking in woodland really helpful.

Sounds like you have exhausted yourself. . Try relaxation by lying down or sitting and just concentrate on your breath. Alternatively, just listen to music with your eyes closed. This should recharge you.