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Does anyone else just "close down"?

Allfunktup

I feel like part of my has just "shutdown", "checked-out" or "shut up shop"? It's like I'm doing the bare minimum to get by - working, cleaning myself and closed but not much else.  I have lots of hobbies and crafts that I like, but I'm maintaining them but buying stuff for them, but doing very little with them.  Thing is, I can't work out how I'm feeling. if I'm sad or depressed.  I feel more confused as to why every thing has stopped. If I just leave it, will I start up again, or has everything changed for good.  I think I'm just waiting for something to be different, even though it might never change. I think that worries me, as I used to enjoy working out and I'm not doing that, needle craft and doll art still has my interest to watch other people doing it, but not myself anymore. Drawing and painting used to help, but that's died. 

I've been focusing on not being too hard on myself and just seeing what happens which is why I've not been to upset and stressed by it.  But how will I know if this is just my life now, or if I'll be what I was before? 

As a side issue, I finally looked at my medical history online. I didn't realised I'd been diagnosed with anxiety in my teens, or fully diagnosed as an anorexic. My mother didn't tell my and the doctor didn't do anything about it either, but it was there in black && white. Is this unusual? I'm 52 so maybe that happened a lot back in the day.

  • Yes going through this right now. I work 3 days a week but the rest of the time I just can't deal with things at the moment. I'm exhausted... I love to paint and do art but haven't managed anything for months now! I've even stopped posting on here/social media recently. 

    You're not alone. Burn out sucks.

  • You are probably in a burn out phase.

    I can’t do anything when I burn out, and that included talking, showering, cooking, eating.

    Interests do come and go. I would suggest choosing one of those interests, and doing it for a very short amount of time. Aim to repeat this a couple of times a week, and increase when you are able. Might be best ti start with working out. Just 10 minutes. It might be very hard to motivate yourself, and you probably won’t feel any better for it, but it will be helping you.

  • I close down by going completely offline, switching all my phones off and not opening my mail.  I've done it many times.

  • in reply to Allfunktup

    Hi Allfunktup,

    I think Roy and out_of_step have given the advice between them that I would have said.  Personally, I had (what I like to call) a Mega Burnout.  For basically 12 months, I stayed away from everyone and did not work nor do my hobbies.  I couldn't be bothered nor felt able to do anything useful.  It was super frustrating and very upsetting.  Self loathing was my main sensation ALL the time!

    I hope you are able to rest as you need to.  I hope you can maintain your sanity!

    If I had known of this forum....and the fact that I am Autistic, then I suspect I would have recovered more quickly.

    Don't be hard on yourself.

    Best regards

    Number.

  • in reply to Deleted User
    Unknown said:
    Why can't I do them like I did before!?

    This! I don't feel so depressed this time, just trouble understanding what to do an dhow long this will last. I think I just have to ride it out.

  • I have felt like this before and I now understand it was burnout. I didn't feel depressed as such. My hobbies went by the wayside and I put too much pressure on myself. Why can't I do them like I did before!? Things didn't interest me the same but I also found starting tasks to be more difficult. I also felt lost without having anything to put my teeth into. I think most of my energy was put into getting through each day so there wasnt much left for anything else. I've started emerging out of this now but it's taken a long time (changes in my life and environment have been put in place) and have found hobbies and interests returning. So I'm saying from my perspective it could be burnout and if you can address this, things can come back.

  • in reply to Roy

    Thanks Roy!

    My doctors Surgery just started updating records on link so I can see my history.  I just looked out of curiosity to see how far they were able to go back. It's not very detailed, just a list of my doctors diagnoses. My mother was very close to out family doctor, so I imagine she didn't any "fuss" made about certain things so I wasn't told.

    I think most practices try to update their records with what they have. I'm not sure when they updated it though.

  • in reply to VLD

    Thanks VLD. You're probably right.  I'm just miffed that I don't seem to identify it.

  • demotivated and tired perhaps is the feeling... which is a part of depression so yes it probably is depression or stress of some kind.

  • Hi, it’s sounds like you are in a massive burnout, I’m in my mid fifties and am just starting to come out of a year long burnout.  I know exactly where you are coming from, I’ve lost interest in everything, I’ve always enjoyed my work but I don’t even have interest in that. I have built up to working 4 days per week and shorter days. There is no magic cure, I found rest and less contact with people helped, try just one of your hobbies, I found with a little perseverance I ignited a small spark again. As has been said, you need to be kind to yourself and do as much as you are comfortable with.

    I was interested in the fact you have obtained your hospital records, I was hospitalised for a long period as a child, all I remember was I had teeth removed and totally shutdown, I remember a GP calling at the house and my mother telling me I was dehydrated, I was in hospital for weeks, I didn’t have a cannula, it was that long a time I remember having school lessons in a one to one situation in hospital. I would love to find my hospital records, I don’t think I was told everything. I didn’t know records were kept for so long. How did you go about getting your records?

    Take care, now the weather is getting better, I find walking in woodland really helpful.

  • Sounds like you have exhausted yourself. . Try relaxation by lying down or sitting and just concentrate on your breath. Alternatively, just listen to music with your eyes closed. This should recharge you.