Published on 12, July, 2020
I feel like part of my has just "shutdown", "checked-out" or "shut up shop"? It's like I'm doing the bare minimum to get by - working, cleaning myself and closed but not much else. I have lots of hobbies and crafts that I like, but I'm maintaining them but buying stuff for them, but doing very little with them. Thing is, I can't work out how I'm feeling. if I'm sad or depressed. I feel more confused as to why every thing has stopped. If I just leave it, will I start up again, or has everything changed for good. I think I'm just waiting for something to be different, even though it might never change. I think that worries me, as I used to enjoy working out and I'm not doing that, needle craft and doll art still has my interest to watch other people doing it, but not myself anymore. Drawing and painting used to help, but that's died.
I've been focusing on not being too hard on myself and just seeing what happens which is why I've not been to upset and stressed by it. But how will I know if this is just my life now, or if I'll be what I was before?
As a side issue, I finally looked at my medical history online. I didn't realised I'd been diagnosed with anxiety in my teens, or fully diagnosed as an anorexic. My mother didn't tell my and the doctor didn't do anything about it either, but it was there in black && white. Is this unusual? I'm 52 so maybe that happened a lot back in the day.
I have felt like this before and I now understand it was burnout. I didn't feel depressed as such. My hobbies went by the wayside and I put too much pressure on myself. Why can't I do them like I did before!? Things didn't interest me the same but I also found starting tasks to be more difficult. I also felt lost without having anything to put my teeth into. I think most of my energy was put into getting through each day so there wasnt much left for anything else. I've started emerging out of this now but it's taken a long time (changes in my life and environment have been put in place) and have found hobbies and interests returning. So I'm saying from my perspective it could be burnout and if you can address this, things can come back.
out_of_step said:Why can't I do them like I did before!?
This! I don't feel so depressed this time, just trouble understanding what to do an dhow long this will last. I think I just have to ride it out.
Hi Allfunktup,
I think Roy and out_of_step have given the advice between them that I would have said. Personally, I had (what I like to call) a Mega Burnout. For basically 12 months, I stayed away from everyone and did not work nor do my hobbies. I couldn't be bothered nor felt able to do anything useful. It was super frustrating and very upsetting. Self loathing was my main sensation ALL the time!
I hope you are able to rest as you need to. I hope you can maintain your sanity!
If I had known of this forum....and the fact that I am Autistic, then I suspect I would have recovered more quickly.
Don't be hard on yourself.
Best regards
Number.