Published on 12, July, 2020
I feel like part of my has just "shutdown", "checked-out" or "shut up shop"? It's like I'm doing the bare minimum to get by - working, cleaning myself and closed but not much else. I have lots of hobbies and crafts that I like, but I'm maintaining them but buying stuff for them, but doing very little with them. Thing is, I can't work out how I'm feeling. if I'm sad or depressed. I feel more confused as to why every thing has stopped. If I just leave it, will I start up again, or has everything changed for good. I think I'm just waiting for something to be different, even though it might never change. I think that worries me, as I used to enjoy working out and I'm not doing that, needle craft and doll art still has my interest to watch other people doing it, but not myself anymore. Drawing and painting used to help, but that's died.
I've been focusing on not being too hard on myself and just seeing what happens which is why I've not been to upset and stressed by it. But how will I know if this is just my life now, or if I'll be what I was before?
As a side issue, I finally looked at my medical history online. I didn't realised I'd been diagnosed with anxiety in my teens, or fully diagnosed as an anorexic. My mother didn't tell my and the doctor didn't do anything about it either, but it was there in black && white. Is this unusual? I'm 52 so maybe that happened a lot back in the day.
Hi, it’s sounds like you are in a massive burnout, I’m in my mid fifties and am just starting to come out of a year long burnout. I know exactly where you are coming from, I’ve lost interest in everything, I’ve always enjoyed my work but I don’t even have interest in that. I have built up to working 4 days per week and shorter days. There is no magic cure, I found rest and less contact with people helped, try just one of your hobbies, I found with a little perseverance I ignited a small spark again. As has been said, you need to be kind to yourself and do as much as you are comfortable with.
I was interested in the fact you have obtained your hospital records, I was hospitalised for a long period as a child, all I remember was I had teeth removed and totally shutdown, I remember a GP calling at the house and my mother telling me I was dehydrated, I was in hospital for weeks, I didn’t have a cannula, it was that long a time I remember having school lessons in a one to one situation in hospital. I would love to find my hospital records, I don’t think I was told everything. I didn’t know records were kept for so long. How did you go about getting your records?
Take care, now the weather is getting better, I find walking in woodland really helpful.
Thanks Roy!
My doctors Surgery just started updating records on link so I can see my history. I just looked out of curiosity to see how far they were able to go back. It's not very detailed, just a list of my doctors diagnoses. My mother was very close to out family doctor, so I imagine she didn't any "fuss" made about certain things so I wasn't told.
I think most practices try to update their records with what they have. I'm not sure when they updated it though.