Following the tide...then not. Not knowing what to think.

TBH I found my own views formed and then got stronger as I got older, when I was a teenager and in my early twenties I was bombarded by a lot of conflicting information, so I would join groups or "groups" sometimes very dangerous spaces and just very quietly observe and pick apart and test what I was being told against multiple sources, identifying verification of the sources, picking apart any confirmation bias and whether claims fell apart under scientific, logical, or ethical scrutiny, I'd cross reference and plot results, etc, so I have no doubt in my points of view. That doesn't mean everyone else is always wrong about stuff, some things just are subjective and can't be objectively tested, and I'm fine with that, I also learned that psychology can skew others opinions and people can be so defensive even if what they say can be proven objectively incorrect a lot of them would rather double down than accept correction because of how this ties into the ego and their need for mental self preservation even if that means cognitive dissonance.
I find I have to either hold back my views or be very careful how I phrase them because some people are not ready to listen to what they consider the B side, and really anything that falls under subjectivity, benevolence, or harmless doesn't need to be opposed, even if I do have the spoons for it. And anyway the subjective difference is part of healthy diversity and is a valuable thing.
But unfortunately what I consider a discussion or exchange of observation others can have a tendency to take as an argument, but that's just because I don't see the use in sugar coating everything, it's not unkind to share factual information gathered from years of research into a subject. Besides if people don't like what I have to say because (just for example) it challenges their world view they aren't going to like it any better if I patronise them by saying it in an overly flowery manner.

Now THAT was a ramble.

Sometimes rowing against the tide is right but sometimes the majority are right. It depends on facts and evidence.

Absolutely! Greta explanation. I find this so hard to navigate at work. Thank you. 

Hi Shardovan, completely unrelated to this post but I wanted you to know I added you as a friend, I was alerted by email but nothing shows on the site - presume it’s some bug. 

I have a lifetime problem of splinters in the ***.

This comes from needing to know a lot of detail about something and the 5 million possible tangents and needing to know FOR SURE before my mind is made up. 

Conversely if someone changes their opinion on a matter, they are entitled to do so but I often find this quite difficult to deal with. I don't quite understand how someone can change their mind so easily.  I have observed that a lot of people's so called opinions are to ensure they are seen favourably in social situations and these can change on a whim.

Hi Jayman. Welcome to the forum. You’ve explained that way better than you think you have, and I know exactly what you mean. I sometimes think I’m like that character Paul Whitehouse used to play whose opinion can be swayed by the next earnestly made point in the room, even if it’s diametrically opposed to someone he was nodding along to two minutes earlier.

I’m slightly overstating that, as it’s not like I’d suddenly adopt racist or right-leaning views  just because someone passionately espoused their own at me. It would be more within a more nebulous realm of stuff. The everyday intricacies of politics and ‘the moral maze’ where everyone seems so sure of their side as though they’d secretly been able to pause time and research it all deeply at their leisure to the point of personal certainty. And faced with that level of personal self assurance , I maybe end up going ‘yes I see what you mean - good point’ while feeling private unease at my own fluctuating moral compass.