Getting my son to sleep at night time

Children always have an innate reason for responding to a thing regardless of it being an attraction or repelled. They're not complex. But one needs to sit with them and help teach them how to express or articulate their thoughts. Help him open up about what he might be experiencing in the moment? 

First kids always need to feel safe. Is there something that's happened in the not too distant past causing him to question matters of safety or see the overwhelming universe and eventual decay as something to be reckoned with? Is he looking for something from you at bedtime or having trouble feeling heard and understood? These things can cause cause internal conflict. And it might be too difficult to think about before bed, but many times an accumulation of the day can set the mind into motion and we cannot just 'turn it off' - this can be unique to Autism, and have a good side but also a difficult side. Second, because everything is experienced with a more impactful intensity, usually the only solution is not just diving in and exploring the problem, but finding solutions and making sure to never shelve it through an indefinite postponement. It's always helpful to tell Autistic children, "I want to help you solve this problem" and set a time and stick to it. While, a problem will never go away, it can certainly wait until the morning, but it needs to at least get out of his head and into yours so he's not fiercely awake problem-solving all night. This is a part of our nature - it will never change. We simply need practical tools to troubleshoot complexities. Our future selves can thrive with good tools as these natural talents are desirable.

I confirm, AuDHD kid sleeps very little. I did 6 days 3-4h sleep and lazy sleepoff on Sunday 10-11h, since I was 10y.o. So, forcing your boy to go to sleep too early will only aggravate and estrange him more and more. I had to turn lights off and pretend I'm asleep so when everyone else have fallen asleep I could start reading a book with a flashlight under duvet. So if he decides at some point that there is no way to make you understand he will start hiding things from you, and find his own way

I am autistic and have ADHD. As a kid I slept four hours per night - I just didn't need sleep. You don't say how old your son is.  I had to be in my room at bedtime - which was quite late anyway - and could read, listen to the radio, play quietly (e.g. Lego) or whatever. If your son is able to function with just a few hours of sleep, maybe just say that he needs to be in his room and quiet, rather than actually be in bed.  Dimmable, colour-changing lights might help, particularly if they are linked to Alexa and voice-controlled.

Once you’ve eliminated all his sensory needs try these things, I have used a sleep clock, they’re analogue, you can change the colour of your desired sleep times so you know when you should be sleeping, half and hour before the sleep time starts, I project a star map onto the bedroom ceiling. A dark room and a star map to look at helps me a lot.

There might be a reason why he doesn’t want to get into bed. That could be the feel of the covers, or something else. He also might not be tired. Have you tried changing things, like the light and temperature? A weighted blanket? Do you have a good bedtime routine, so he knows what’s happening at all time, and when to expect bed time?