Feeling lonely

my teachers name is louise . idk same . well for me it's not like that I do hurt people who I love the most . that is the kind of person I am . I am really bad at making friends who last forever like this week 2 of my BFFs blocked me and now they're not my friends. I'm ok 

Hi yes I agree you might be right I was thinking it could be misunderstanding  levels as well I do see where your coming from.

I find being able to accept that nothing is permanent has helped me realise that I need to build my own comfort inside and not look to others to do that for me.

Very, very wise words.

Luckypierre,

I agree on that one.  I think by trying to focus on what you can do and the good things about you, others will naturally be drawn to you.  The more grasping one is, the more others feel smothered and pressured.  I realised this in my last relationship with someone who was a beautiful person but who became more and more intense which scared me off.  I then realised that I had been behaving that way to my friends.  In my loneliness I had been more demanding which is hard to admit and upsetting to write here.  I do find though that my true friends have worn the storm.  I find being able to accept that nothing is permanent has helped me realise that I need to build my own comfort inside and not look to others to do that for me.  This means I and others can enjoy the progression of meaningful interactions without expectations.  Honesty is sometimes hard to take or admit but it helps us feel more at peace with ourselves and others. :-)

Hi.  I have the opposite problem and can maybe offer some insight.  Although I am probably  viewed as a little strange, I have good friend and am pretty well regarded at work and amongst people i come into contact with.  I am though very solitary and prefer it that way for the most part.  Basically, I don't try to make friends and maybe trying too hard is a part of the problem?  My best friendships grew slowly and over time they have become really strong but none of them live near me, so I can maintaint solitude easily.  In my experience, friendships sart as acquaintances such as you might meet at a pub quiz or a sports club and if it works, it works, but trying too hard will put people off.  Sometimes it's cool just to be friends by writing, so you could be in the right place here..

Hi, I also struggle to make friends, sorry I don't really have advice other than to keep trying. This is a friendly forum, I hope you will feel comfortable here.

Hi thankyou 

Thankyou for your kind words, I never thought of looking at it like that, I suppose we all get lonely and when we find the right place and community like I have here then we can only improve and be our best.

NAS83836/Louise,

It's painful.  You are not alone in that feeling as you can see from others replies.  Making friends is difficult and it's equally as tough when friendships wane and you are left alone again.  I've come to realise that as painful as it is, there are ways of having friendly interactions so the pain isn't as intense. 

I find that if I accept that I am alone, I can see that there is nothing wrong in that for me.  I have friends who I rarely see because they have families.  I try to focus on accepting that this may be how my life is and that the dream we are sold of long term partner/best friend forever and children may not look or be that way. for me or other folks 

The purpose in my life is to help others as much as I can with who I am.  If I find friends and a partner through that, great, if not at least I know I can help others.  I try to accept that friends and partners are not always forever because circumstances and people change.  It makes me realise that I am not broken or less of a person.  I realise from conversations with people I know that the majority of people feel lonely for the exact same reasons you describe.

Keep posting here if it makes a difference to you and I hope all our comments help you too.

Hi Louise,

Just wanted to say Hi. I have the same trouble as you. I hope you find some friends here and that we both feel less lonely. 

Take care,

Mrs Snooks

Hi Louise.  Welcome.  You are in good company on these pages - as you can see from all the responses.  Like them, what you have written resonates strongly with me.  Stick around and see what little rays of joy and connection you can feel from this place and the good folk within it.

Hi Louise. Sorry to hear that you're feeling hurt and closed off, but like others here I can relate. You've come to the right place if you want to feel understood and less alone, it's a very supportive forum.

I can relate to this. Had it many times one minute they are friends the next not interested. I don’t know why is it something I said or did. 

Lovely to meet you too :) 

Your welcome. Nice to make new friends. 

I've lost a few friends in the past. Also some stop communication without telling me. 

Thankyou 

Hi Luna lovely to meet you, it’s the same and it can be hard there are nice people out there.

Hi Thankyou for your reply, I have even tried joining meet up and creating events no matter how hard you try for people they just throw things back In your face, it would be nice to be your friend, friends are very important in tough times. 

Welcome, Home! Louise!

Hi and welcome to the community.

I've found the same, really nice to people just try to be the best I can and sadly they aren't as nice in return - not that I expect it but it's disheartening when people use me.

This is a lovely community. You'll make a lot of good friends here :)