Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi looking for some advice my daughter is 5 and was diagnosed last year for the past month her behaviour has been getting worse she hits,scratches,bites when she is told of or can’t get something she wants and when I say to her don’t hurt mummy or that’s sore something like that she just laughs at me in the end I just give in because I’m all sore with her any help or advice would be great thanks
Caelus,
Hitting a young female only teaches her to Allow Domestic Violence when she's an adult. I sincerely hope you don't then question why a woman will allow a man to beat her senseless if you endorse abusive parenting.
An autistic might laugh out of stress when told someone has passed. Autistic individuals are some the most abused on the planet. See the Gamma knife. ABA. Shock Therapy. THIS IS WHY WE'RE HERE TO HELP.
Agree.
Autistic children also laugh as a sign of stress. So when you tell her off and she laughs at you, that may be an emotional reaction rather than her being rude or disrespecting you. Especially if she's already at the stage where she's frustrated enough to hit out.
With this kind of behaviour it's always best to look at the patterns to see why it is occurring, then deal with the cause of the issue instead of the reaction. What are the events that lead up to it? What situations does it occur in? We had one child in the school where I work who would become agessive at the unstructured times of the day, like getting ready for lunch, or waiting to go home. So we made sure that they had a supervised activity to do at that time, away from the noise and the bustle, and their behaviour improved.
ehhh i dont wanna sound old fashioned but this is why in the olden days they used to hit kids.... the kid wont hit you if they know you hit harder... you need to establish dominance.
Did something happen a month ago that was a change? Some kind of transition?
Children are too young, they are responsive and mirroring what they see (sometimes poorly as they don't have all the context).Or just communicating how they're impacted however they can. They won't have years of therapy, a School of Life bookshelf of "becoming my best self" and Twitter to let it all out on. They'll just have you to hopefully interpret their expressions, distress signals, and try to "hear" their deepest needs. So how can we help?
If you have a little more detail as to what specifically she's responding to, we might be able to help make sense.
Autistic children tend to be so overwhelmed that it's difficult for them to think or pause before responding. Some feel assaulted by frequencies which adults have lost their hearing to or chemicals in their gut and lungs from cleaning agents. At the extreme is epilepsy with light sensitivity, but LEDs and fluorescents can create a low-grade stress where one only needs a little push into a full meltdown. At night, if I'm somewhere there is no Natural Light source (a flame, halogen) I start having trouble breathing - see lightaware.org And then there's the emotional impact: They can feel isolated from feeling wildly misunderstood. Interruptions are like waking a sleepwalker: https://monotropism.org And because we cannot filter sensory signals, which include unidentified emotions, everything comes at us internally and externally as Intense.
So the modern world isn't easy for us. But perhaps we can help you if you'd like to share more of what's happening during these episodes. On the chance she's learned this is a type of game or obstacle course and she's misunderstood a social interaction, it may be important to find a way to become more 'parental'. Children are never our 'friends', our opponents or our equals. We will always be in the role of a mentor, a sage, a support - able to weather and help contain their difficulties, a constant source of assurance.