So many questions!

Hi and welcome, there’s loads of nice people to chat with  here. Autistic people aren’t poor communicators, we communicate just fine with other autistic people. It’s just the rest of the world we struggle with.  I’m 55 and autism only came onto my radar a year ago. It is a bit of a shock when all the pieces start coming together.  I hope you find your answers.

Roy said:

Autistic people aren’t poor communicators, we communicate just fine with other autistic people. It’s just the rest of the world we struggle with.  

Yes exactly, a great example of the Double Empathy Problem.

Yes, I think there is a bit of a blind spot on both sides. The problem with communication isn’t just the neurotypicals fault, they often don’t know that they are communicating with an autistic person so don’t know how to converse slightly differently, but that’s unfortunately if they know anything about autism. Most autistic people don’t want to disclose their autism because of the stigma involved so mask and try to act and to some extent mimic what’s in front of them. We get away with it sometimes, but as most of us know, it doesn’t always go quite right and we see that puzzled look on their faces and that awkward pause.

I find that talking to my wife is easier now she knows  I’m autistic. The comment last week was, “ you don’t seem to have any filters, you often say it as it is.” She tried to explain that people don’t always want total honesty. 

‘Yes, I think there is a bit of a blind spot on both sides. The problem with communication isn’t just the neurotypicals fault, they often don’t know that they are communicating with an autistic person so don’t know how to converse slightly differently’

Yes I agree, we have such different experiences of the world we can find it difficult to relate and adapt to each other.

I was initially hesitant/unsure about how to disclose my autistic identity because of the responses I could have received due to stigma . For example when I disclosed once before, I was told ‘you wouldn’t think it would you’. This response made me feel quite uncomfortable.

Now I think I am much more openly autistic and happier and more confident because of it. It is so important that we have autistic people in our community who are safe and confident enough to be openly autistic to help bridge the Double Empathy Problem and help reframe the narrative and reduce stigma around our own experience and culture.

It would be useful for everyone regardless of neurotype, if people communicated clearly and said what they meant to avoid confusion.

We autistics are known for our direct and honest communication style , I think it’s great. If people don’t want your opinion, they shouldn’t ask for it. NT perception of honesty is actually sometimes a lie to make people happy.

You might like or relate to this article:

https://autisticscienceperson.com/2021/05/17/be-honest-autistic-vs-neurotypical-honesty/

Roy said:

The comment last week was, “ you don’t seem to have any filters, you often say it as it is.” She tried to explain that people don’t always want total honesty. 

‘Yes, I think there is a bit of a blind spot on both sides. The problem with communication isn’t just the neurotypicals fault, they often don’t know that they are communicating with an autistic person so don’t know how to converse slightly differently’

Yes I agree, we have such different experiences of the world we can find it difficult to relate and adapt to each other.

I was initially hesitant/unsure about how to disclose my autistic identity because of the responses I could have received due to stigma . For example when I disclosed once before, I was told ‘you wouldn’t think it would you’. This response made me feel quite uncomfortable.

Now I think I am much more openly autistic and happier and more confident because of it. It is so important that we have autistic people in our community who are safe and confident enough to be openly autistic to help bridge the Double Empathy Problem and help reframe the narrative and reduce stigma around our own experience and culture.

It would be useful for everyone regardless of neurotype, if people communicated clearly and said what they meant to avoid confusion.

We autistics are known for our direct and honest communication style , I think it’s great. If people don’t want your opinion, they shouldn’t ask for it. NT perception of honesty is actually sometimes a lie to make people happy.

You might like or relate to this article:

https://autisticscienceperson.com/2021/05/17/be-honest-autistic-vs-neurotypical-honesty/

Roy said:

The comment last week was, “ you don’t seem to have any filters, you often say it as it is.” She tried to explain that people don’t always want total honesty.