Mum to Ollie

You know the question of what you can do to improve your sons mental health will be incredibly specific to him. There is no one size fits all approach to autism. You'll need to identify what in his environment is damaging his mental health and what helps bolster it. That's going to be really situation specific but also specific to your sones character, abilities and interests.

Hi Jen, I'm autistic myself (a recent revelation and currently awaiting assessment). School can be an extremely challenging environment for autistic people- I did well at school academically, but I had a horrible time- I was very isolated, had no friends and felt like an utter alien, which made it a very stressful experience. I don't have any immediate advice, but I was just wondering, does Ollie have a special interest that he can engage in? What does he do when he is alone in his room? Engaging in a special interest can be very positive as it can act as distraction and can give some purpose and can be lots of fun-. For me my love for science and hiking/the outdoors helped me hold my life together for a long time- it really helped me to have a goal as this also motivated me to move outside of my comfort zone to achieve that goal. Of course distraction with a special interest is not a permanent fix (and it is risky to base your happiness on one thing) but in the short term it might help for him to engage in something that he is interested in. Withdrawing for a while can also sometimes be a positive thing and can help regain some energy to face the world- however it's a fine balance and can also turn into a negative spiral. Sorry I don't have any better advice. I do hope that you get some more support! 

Hi Jennifer, I have just joined this community too, my son is 20 now and had a diagnosis of Autism and ADD a few months ago.  I really feel for you all, lockdown just compacted existing problems.  We were lucky that he adapted well to secondary school, he had problems and I contacted his head of year and the SENCO who were excellent and provided the extra support that he needed.  Luckily he was on the verge of leaving sixth form at the time of lockdown.  However, throughout lockdown he wouldn't come out of his room, he barely spoke to us.  We didn't go down the CAHMS route - we heard so many nightmare stories and he was receiving all of the help that was available at secondary school anyway, he had a private assessment earlier this year. He also doesn't understand the impact of his actions on others around him.  We went to the GP toward the end of last year who prescribed Fluoxetine, an anti-depressant, I only wish that we had done this sooner, after taking it for a little while he was like a different person completely.  Some things it has not helped with - the racing thoughts that he has at night are still there - but it has helped with the anxiety a lot.  He still feels anxious but is now able to do things anyway, whereas before he wouldn't even try.  It's heartbreaking, there seems to be one problem after another - as soon as it looks like there is light at the end of the tunnel something else occurs!  He is planning on going to Uni this year - another hurdle - he changes his mind so rapidly, usually at the last minute.  We are hoping that it will be a stepping stone to the outside world and give him the skills and confidence to be able to live on his own. 

Perhaps a visit to the GP might be a step forward - I have always been very reluctant to try medication but it has really helped. I am not sure what complementary education is - I presume home schooling with a tutor.  Does the school have a SENCO that can help?  My son also had dyslexia screening at school which he proved not to have but it did throw up other areas of concern and highlighted slow processing disorder which helped them to put things in place.