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Mum to Ollie

NAS79805
over 2 years ago

Hi everyone,

I have just joined this site after recently receiving a positive diagnosis for ASD for our 13 year old son, Oliver.

It has been a really tough few years, we had some feeling that Ollie may have something outside of the mainstream whilst at primary school - low level disruption, not really understanding the impact of his actions on those around him...but things came to a head when he made the transition to high school, which also coincided with Covid and lockdowns.  He started to refuse going to his new high school after 5 weeks, during which we had the most unbelievable meltdowns and breakdowns.

We managed to get him Complementary Education after almost 2 years of fighting for help.  Hypothetically, Ollie should have 2 1.5 hour lessons a week but he rarely makes it downstairs even for these.

Now we have his diagnosis, I am looking for support and help on how we can help him and improve his mental health.  His anxiety is off the charge and he definitely has depression.  CAHMS have been about as much use as a chocolate teapot, they just refer us to Venus who offer councelling, but Oliver hates talking to strangers so this doesn't help him at all.

He hasn't left his room since Christmas, and I wondered if anyone can offer any advice or help on how I can help my beautiful boy. 

Thanks for reading 

Jen x

Parents
  • over 2 years ago

    Hi Jen, I'm autistic myself (a recent revelation and currently awaiting assessment). School can be an extremely challenging environment for autistic people- I did well at school academically, but I had a horrible time- I was very isolated, had no friends and felt like an utter alien, which made it a very stressful experience. I don't have any immediate advice, but I was just wondering, does Ollie have a special interest that he can engage in? What does he do when he is alone in his room? Engaging in a special interest can be very positive as it can act as distraction and can give some purpose and can be lots of fun-. For me my love for science and hiking/the outdoors helped me hold my life together for a long time- it really helped me to have a goal as this also motivated me to move outside of my comfort zone to achieve that goal. Of course distraction with a special interest is not a permanent fix (and it is risky to base your happiness on one thing) but in the short term it might help for him to engage in something that he is interested in. Withdrawing for a while can also sometimes be a positive thing and can help regain some energy to face the world- however it's a fine balance and can also turn into a negative spiral. Sorry I don't have any better advice. I do hope that you get some more support! 

Reply
  • over 2 years ago

    Hi Jen, I'm autistic myself (a recent revelation and currently awaiting assessment). School can be an extremely challenging environment for autistic people- I did well at school academically, but I had a horrible time- I was very isolated, had no friends and felt like an utter alien, which made it a very stressful experience. I don't have any immediate advice, but I was just wondering, does Ollie have a special interest that he can engage in? What does he do when he is alone in his room? Engaging in a special interest can be very positive as it can act as distraction and can give some purpose and can be lots of fun-. For me my love for science and hiking/the outdoors helped me hold my life together for a long time- it really helped me to have a goal as this also motivated me to move outside of my comfort zone to achieve that goal. Of course distraction with a special interest is not a permanent fix (and it is risky to base your happiness on one thing) but in the short term it might help for him to engage in something that he is interested in. Withdrawing for a while can also sometimes be a positive thing and can help regain some energy to face the world- however it's a fine balance and can also turn into a negative spiral. Sorry I don't have any better advice. I do hope that you get some more support! 

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