Telling my son he’s autistic

You are very welcome. We are here on this forum to help you explain what being autistic means to your son. I am really glad you love the cartoon videos, they really help explain the complexity of autistic experience in a simplistic and positive way. It is really good that your son can relate to the videos and hopefully know he is part of an awesome autistic community.

The bullying must be really horrible for your son to deal with. 

‘The thing is he’ll jump in and stand up for his friends but just struggles to stand up for himself but while standing up for a friend he is then on the receiving end but what do you do you can’t say don’t stand up for people but also you don’t want him involved’

I understand what you mean, this is a really kind act but at the same time you don’t him to get harmed.

This book might be useful:

https://ausometraining.com/product/standing-up-for-myself-digital-book/

I hope this helps.

Thank you for taking the time to link to these there are great I’ve saved the first one into files to show him, I’ve always loved the cartoon type video it’s such a good explanation when I showed him this a couple of years ago he wouldn’t watch but could see he was listening and watching kind of with one eye and when she was walking down the road and it changed to the sounds an autistic person hears he sat right up and said “that’s me, that’s what I hear, it really struck a cord with him :) oh we will always explain things in a positive manner

we are trying hard with regards to bullying I won’t tolerate it and will always speak up for him he’s such a kind hearted wee boy he can be very blunt with friends at times but no one ever ever deserves to be bullied wether being blunt or not! The thing is he’ll jump in and stand up for his friends but just struggles to stand up for himself but while standing up for a friend he is then on the receiving end but what do you do you can’t say don’t stand up for people but also you don’t want him involved xx

Thank you yes we definitely over worry  He doesn’t want people to know I hope in time he’s comfortable enough to let friends know but that’s completely down to him when he chooses to do that. My oldest son is dyspraxic and has no issues about letting others know, he’s 22 living away from home at uni with a lovely gf who understands him well :) anyway I’m just hoping having a diagnoses gives him some kind of comfort and reassurance because it’s never a bad thing to be unique and that extra special like having a wee super power it’s what makes him him and I’d never want to change that because he’s just amazing :) xx

I’m glad that it’s going well by the sound of it

I quite understand - as parents we do tend to obsess over doing the right thing for our children - it’s only natural I suppose! As an Autistic parent of two autistic son’s I think that when you’ve watched them struggle with school etc you do end up feeling quite paranoid about anything that will add to their distress in any way. 
I hope your son finds the diagnosis helpful to him in many ways. Best of luck ! 

Hello, these videos might be useful:

https://youtu.be/GOTdEi9_SI4

I know this video might be aimed at younger children but it could be useful:

https://youtu.be/RbwRrVw-CRo

This article may also be useful and the website has some very useful resources:

https://ausometraining.com/explaining-autism-to-your-child/

Another resource:

https://neuroclastic.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Brain-is-autistic-neuroinclusive-story.pdf

I hope this helps.

It is really important to emphasise that being autistic is a different way of being human. It must be really difficult for him to deal with the bullying, so  it is even more important for his autistic neurology to be explained positively.

Hi yes he does partly realise we e been open about it all along just great wasn’t very accepting of any of it he was completely closed off to the idea and would shut me down and want to chat about it he’s very much needs a yes or no answer to things not a maybe and possibly but he seemed to take it in his stride far better than I thought he would, ive tried to explain better in the response above, I suffer with anxiety and think I was just overthinking it all a bit xx 

Hi thank you for replying that sounds like a good idea, we spoke to him last night about having an official diagnoses he just shrugged it off and said “yea I know” which he had known there’s been a possibility but didn’t want to accept it and when we spoke about it he said no it’s wrong they’ve got it wrong and didn’t want to talk about it so we didn’t push it just now and then we’d mention it into conversation so sounds like he accepted it better than I expected though I’m sure it will still take time to digest I told him it’s a good thing that it will help him understand why he does and says the things he does I think giving him a bit of cake before we spoke about it helped lol I’ve told him he can come ask me any question he wants to and I’ll try and answer it the best I can, I found some little clips on cebbebies website (sp) (I’m dyslexic so excuse any of my mistakes)  I know that website is aimed at younger children but it still has some things he'd understand better 

and no I don’t claim anything for him, I’m not sure he’d be eligible for anything

school are aware of his extra support needs and the bullying and help as best they can, I thought maybe a referral to autism outreach as his school can put in a referral to for someone to come in and talk to him about any worries and might explain things better to him than I can plus might speak to someone he doesn’t know about things he might not want to ask me xx

Don’t you think it’s likely that he partly realises already being as he’s gone through the whole assessment process?! Have to you not discussed the possibility of him being autistic at all during this period of time?