Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone I'm Laura. My 5 year old child has sensory disorder and has just been diagnosed with autism. Im just wondering where do I go from here? I feel at a loss tbh. He Is doing well at school but at home it's like he is a totally different person. He hits out at me alot and at his older brother who is 15 they dont get on at all which is very upsetting for me. I want to be able to help son as much as possible so any advice is welcomed. Thank you
You say he's doing well at school but is that just academically? Is he getting through the school day by keeping his head down keeping to him self and bottling everything up?
I wouldn't be surprised brothers don't get on. Trying to push them together is probably the wrong move. As much as posable try to let them have their own space and own things separate from each other.
Hi Peter, thank you for your reply. I'm new on here. How are you doing? he does well academically and he does now play with other children, b4 starting school he never went near another child or spoke to another child. His speech is good but understanding not so good. He likes routine. He plays at school but is repetitive and always go back to the same toy. He is a fussy eater due to his sensory. My oldest son spends most of his time in his room anyway on the computer but when he does come out my youngest will attack him.
Laura said:he does now play with other children, b4 starting school he never went near another child or spoke to another child
Consider the possibility that this is an elaborate act on his part. That he has discovered that in order to be treated well by others he has to act in a way that does not come naturally to him. That all day at school he is metaphorically wearing a mask. Then at home the mask comes off and all the frustration at a world where he has to pretend to be some one he isn't to be included comes out.
Laura said:His speech is good but understanding not so good.
Or possibly he understands the words but not the subtext? Not the non verbal communication. He knows what is said but can't read between the lines? That would be pretty textbook autism. Its why you have to be quite direct with autistic people. Hinting at what you mean or trying to be tactful can just cause confusion.
Laura said:My oldest son spends most of his time in his room anyway on the computer but when he does come out my youngest will attack him.
Might your son have any reason to resent or feel jealous of his older brother?
I’m not convinced that’s an autism thing so much as a demanding child thing. I mean the thing about autism is autistic children often can’t find the words to express how they feel. And when they try they often get told off for being ‘rude.’ So feelings might end up expressed as violent outbursts a bit more than with other children… but the truth is all brothers fight a bit. It’s just what brothers do.
No he doesn't really go out because he was robbed and it scared him he may go out with his friends once a month. Like I say he's in his room on the computer. Also I take little one out as much as possible as he likes being out in the fresh air. I think he just likes it being him and one other person in the room.
Ah but it's not just attention. Does he get more freedom? Being older I'd expect so. On top of that he may simply have a better social life? It may not be rational or fair but if he sees his older brother doing well where he struggles that could be the source of some animosity.
Thanks for the advice. No not at all if anything it would be the other way round my oldest son doesn't get much attention because I always have my hands full with the little one.