Hello

Thanks Liam.

I can't help thinking, "how can I have such a long way to go at 50?" I'll try and keep up the talking about it, but but even though I feel I am on the spectrum, the imposter syndrome is huge.

The more I read about the diagnostic process the more it puts me off wanting to go through it and the less point or use I see it will be.  There seems to be such prejudice and ignorance at all levels whether NHS or private.  I suppose the goal for some is to get support from social services which you might not get if you don't have a diagnosis.

It's such a pity that it is a complete random chance that you will get a helpful/sympathetic clinician.

Thank you for sharing your experience! I feel the same, I've recently discovered that I'm on the spectrum and I'm petrified of going to the GP and not being believed. Like you, I know I mask in front of people that I don't know in order to appear neurotypical so I'm worried about 'not seeming autistic enough' to be taken seriously.

I know it's all very scary and exhausting but talking about it as much as you wish on here does help. Unfortunately, I've been turned away from GPs in terms of mental health before so I'm reluctant to go back to them with ASC. 

I understand what I'm about to say may not give you any relief from what you feel but patience is absolutely key. Whether we go to the GPs again or not, we have to live with who we are and what we have and try to make sense of a world that isn't necessarily built for us. But we, as a community, are here for you as much as you need us.

Take care!

That's a horrible experience and those staff sound very misinformed and uncaring. I'm sorry you've had to experience this situation. You should definitely try again with your GP (ask for a different one if there's more than 1 at your practice) and ask for the AQ10 (which is followed up with an AQ50, depending on your answers to the AQ10) and if they're still unwilling to help, then you could consider transferring to a new GP. Have a look on Google for one with good, recent reviews. You shouldn't be made to feel gaslighted like this. Best of luck.

I spoke to my GP after reading a lot comments on forums.  I wrote a thorough description of why I thought I was on the spectrum as requested.  His answer was "well, you might be a bit, but not much".  he recommended me to NHS. His comments upset me quite a lot, and I didn't want to go though the extended remix of that response.  I had my first session of my 6 week session yesterday. I've done private therapy before, but I just wanted to do well at it, and treated like a course and "aced it".

I originally felt like you about being diagnosed, but it depends on you GP.  I'm black, and after doing something stupid years ago, a black Therapist spoke t me in hospital an encouraged me to say I felt fine.  "you know how it goes here, so say your fine".  She meant black women are more likely to be seen as dangerous and threatening in Mental care system.  Don't get angry, don't cause a scene Even my mother told me that. I told my GP I didn't feel fine, and he told me if I kept saying that I'd be sectioned. These things put me off.  My GP isn't a bad person, neither was the therapist. But, it just made me hide more.

I think you should consider speaking to your GP about the testing - ask for the AQ10 to begin with - because there are options available to you if you're confirmed on the spectrum - even access to better or more varied care on the NHS. I was diagnosed Asperger's at 35 after a year of assessments.  I'm now entitled to tailored therapy sessions designed just for me and they're unlimited, compared with 8 sessions on the NHS of generic CBT for non-spectrum patients. It does take a while to get confirmed but it might be very beneficial for you. It might be quite uplifting for you to finally be confirmed as traits-only, or on the spectrum and to see exactly where you are on said spectrum. When I got my diagnosis, it was such a relief.