Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello I am a 58 year old man who was diagnosed with having autism Aspergers 3 years ago.All my life I felt something was wrong with me and as a young boy this was put down to being very quiet and shy.However as the years passed by my mood level changed and as an adult I find it very hard to be in a happy place which has brought extreme pressure on my wife and I throughout our marriage.I tend to be short tempered and very judgemental without often knowing the facts in any situation.I have attended therapy sessions with other like minded autistic adults and because of this I know I’m not alone in the way I behave around others but it doesn’t excuse my behaviour.Even taking anti depressants daily do little to help how I feel and act,I just felt that maybe sharing my thoughts with others in a similar situation may help me in some way.
I want to echo some of what aidie has said. My MO is anxiety. I've started doing meditations daily (or as and when - if I miss one, no big deal), I can feel it's starting to have a cumulative effect and this is my motivation to continue. It takes practise though! My mindfulness teacher said it's proven breathing meditations can change your brain. This is the video I use but it usually takes about half of it for my brain to settle.... https://youtu.be/TuheGnqvgxk
I try to get out in nature when I can also. I've had CBT which I think might have been adapted a bit as I found it more effective than CBT I've had before.
I have had to build in my own strategies because no one else will do it. ..I'm an adult and I need to help myself if I want things to change.
I can attest to the daily anxiety, particularly in the morning, even if I have nothing on my mind, it's there. Usually before work and I've noticed before a holiday. I think it's just general unknowing makes me uncomfortable.
Be kind to yourself. Try different things to see what works for you.
Hi Aidie
Many thanks for responding to my request for guidance,I will try some of your tips,I found that walking my mums dog did help me a lot and animals in general seem to gravitate towards me that’s why we own 4 cats.I get a real sense of calmness wash over me when holding animals.
Hi caelus
Thankyou for responding it is nice to get a response that does make sense to me.I have achieved a lot in life considering my diagnosis and presently hold a foreman position within a large company but not a day goes by that I don’t get anxious with life in general and as you have said yourself winging it on a daily basis is exactly what I am doing.
here are some simple thing you can do each day to change your mood
1. in the morning deliberately smile even if u dont want to ----- force it for a minute this fools your body into releasing the right hormones
2. say this mantra everyday " I am coping with everything fine " ----- again a proven mood changer
3. do a 30 minute walk or cycle everyday. I sometimes walk my neigbours dog. ---------- this helps change ur mood some doctors prescribe it
4. get a Labrador / golden retriever dog ------- these have taken veterans out of depression ....... but dogs are a big commitment so be careful with this one.
5. stop drinking alcohol completely its a depressive chemical.
i used meditation so stop my depression and anxiety, for me it worked i still do it with the walking smiling and mantras
society is judgemental, and thus you judge back equally as harsh perhaps?i have though on this myself as i recognize myself to be judgemental.... i thought perhaps its because we live in such a judgemental society that judges us we just perhaps snap and then twist that mirror around to judge society in return for we find it lacking and mediocre when it bigs itself up and puts us down, so perhaps could be a reaction to a judgemental society and judging it in return, for society is full of mediocrity despite how harsh it judges others and pretends to be a proffesional society off which it really isnt, everyone is just winging it not sure what they are doing really.