Coping with my daily low mood

yea the Monkees

Blue Sky by ELO

so long as they not too drunk, 1 or 2 pint can get you to the point of perking you up and being more sociable.... you can pass as a NT easy that way lol too much drink and you become speaking a new undocumented language though haha

Great. Nothing beats talking to a drunk...

me also that meant i felt better about going for a diagnosis

Alcohol is fine until you get The Fear the day after. I don't drink any more.

maybe, it helps you become more verbally talkative though.

true ---- it is a depressiive chemical

No, it can't. It creates more anxiety. Once the temporary stupor wears off, the anxiety multiplies. It may provide a temporary numbing of the senses, but that's not helping the anxiety. At the same times as it's numbing the senses, it's also destroying other parts of the body. It's no more helpful than a line of coke, or a shot of heroin. It's just cheaper and more accessible.

it can help with anxiety though.

I know... 

Its promoted everywhere. Its incredible.

So true. It's not something people want to accept. (I count myself in that number most of the time). If we truly accepted that it is our own minds that interpret and create our experience of the world, and that we are the authors of our own joy and misery, our brains would implode. We wouldn't know how to live. We're so used to constantly blaming other people as the cause of our misery, or blaming external events as the reason we're angry, hurt and frustrated that we'd be lost if we had to change our thoughts.  It's so much easier to point the finger of blame outwards because it stops is having to look inwards and take responsibility for our own thoughts and feelings. Not many people like looking in the mirror. They like the illusion they've created. It's comforting.

The fix is easy. Stop the bigotry, criticism and judgements towards yourself. All the criticisms you're directing outward are echoes of the what you think about yourself. That's where the old expression thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself comes from.  What you're feeling about others is only a reflection of what you're feeling about yourself. You're hurting, so you lash out at others.People only hurt others when they're hurting themselves. They're just like you. It doesn't mean you can't point out someone's behaviour that is hurtful, but it means you don't take it personally, you understand that it's only hurt people that hurt others. Break the cycle. It's down to you to form a better relationship with yourself. Once you feel love and compassion for yourself, you naturally feel it for everyone because you realise, like yourself, everyone is doing the best they can with their limited understanding. 

so then why did it start? ..... because i couldnt talk to people like others could? ... because i couldnt show any expression or emotion on my dead looking face which made people perhaps think i wasnt interested in them? ... how does one even fix that? the fix there is other people to stop being so bigoted and judgemental and stop exclude people from society based on little judgements. you cant get any kindness back, because society isnt kind, no matter how much it says it is, it isnt, its a virtue signalling fake society that only wants to pretend to be kind to make themselves feel better and feel like "the good moral guys" when they are no such thing lol

That's a very ugly mental landscape you've created. It sounds like your filled with bitterness and resentment. No wonder you're feeling so lonely. Anyone would feel lonely living in the hellish world you've created for yourself. You only get what you give.  Until you transform that ugly spiritual energy you're sending out into something kinder, more balanced, you're going to keep on receiving the same ugliness back from the world, which in turn feeds you with more negative energy to send out.  It all starts and ends with you. 

yes once u realise the problem has to be fixed in your head only then does change occur. The problem is not other people but within your own head. It's hard to take that, I know

ah but it was society that judged first in my case, relationships and events hit me first before i hit back. even now im still too accepting and tolerant than i should be, probably because loneliness makes you very tolerant and willing to accept anyone, i should be alot more intolerant and judgemental than what i am to give equal hate and exclusionism back to society, im still hitting back too soft.... i should go harder.... infact if i were to hit back at society equally to what they did to me, it would be much darker. i feel society excluded me and relieved me of a life. so in return, you see how dark that would get if i treated society the same way back.

I hope you're feeling a bit better now. When I feel low I always listen to feel good songs, that always kicks my mood back up. 

Some of my fave feel good songs are these. Hopefully they'll help you as well. Enjoy 

• Daydream Believer by the Monkees.
• Come up and see me (Make me smile) Steve Harley.
• Walking on the milky way by OMD.

Hope these help bring a smile to your face. 

I'm totally with you on alcohol. It's horrid stuff!

That's not what enlightened beings say. They say that the outer world we experience is a reflection of our inner world. What we experience as reality is merely a mirror, reflecting back at us our inner world. The true meaning of Karma. Cause and effect.  Your inner world (beliefs, judgments, assumptions, opinions) is the cause, and the world outside (relationships, events, circumstances, situations) is the effect.