Hi to everyone

we have a lot in common i read Zen ( where mindfulness comes from ) stuff everyday and recognise everything you just said.

The last sentence is me for sure. 

"still learning still not getting it right"  but i am continuing on my path where ever it takes me

It has mostly been mindfulness.  I have practiced all kinds of stuff though: breath counting, visualisation,  focus on stuff gradually taking into account all of its form, edges, light and texture etc.  I live by nature so walk each day. I can focus on a twig up in a tree then expand to more of the twig then it connecting to its branch and many more twigs etc. I once did path-working where you visualise walking in made up scenery. Also Buddhist stuff where you focus and realise how all is co-dependent and linked to causation. As well stuff like burning pieces of newspaper while focusing on it to realise impermanence.  As well in the 80s I had experiences of oneness of stuff which made me value life in all its forms more. Even so called mind and matter were not separate.  I am still learning though and still a naughty boy sometimes.

yes thats the one things i found very useful  --- i do a range of meditations 

walking (25% of my meditation time approx)

breath counting (35%)

thought labelling (20%)

mantra(15%) 

focusing on an object ( "candle staring" ) 5%

what do u use ?  just curious.

Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.

Hi to be honest I don’t know.  I have ADD, I practiced meditation for   30 years. I was informed it is not in itself concentration but that it would help develop concentration. It has been useful and good in ways but my ADD is still the same. Some say that types of medication can help.

Hi thanks for the reply. Bullying can have severe and long term effects on people. I know only too well. Yes I have looked at wheel diagrams of emotions and can’t relate to them.

Hi Aaron - life is life - you get to roll with it.     When I said I don't do emotions, I mean I can only really identify 3 - happy, sad, angry - the rest is 'meh'.     I've seen a wheel diagram with lots of emotions listed but I don't identify anything finer than happy, sad or angry - I'm not sure if it's because I spent a huge chunk of my life ignoring all the bullying etc. to power through so just ignored everything I was feeling until I can't identify anything now.

I find most 'big' music instantly reduces me to tears - Wagner, Strauss, Camille Saint Saens etc.    Lots of my pop-music history triggers tears too.

I have no 'happy' music.

It's complicated, but my counsellor has suggested it's because I've spent my entire life as a slave to my own standards and compulsions.    I've never been free of massive responsibilities so my brain can't cope.

I have autism and ADHD ------- and   dyslexia ( not a problem within IT ).

I have started retaking coffee ( caffeine )  again to see if that helps the ADHD. Might make no difference. 

have u any tips on controling add/adhd ?

It depends whether pinning down individual things will actually help your overall problems - I probably have PTSD but getting a diagnosis wil be of no value to me - it won't change anything,.

What would you like to achieve?

Hi yes the problem is what can be measured so it is working with possibilities.

I was into encyclopedias when I was little - I watched the moon landings on tv so all the books of the time were full of technology features - probably why I became an engineer.

I had no idea I was so different from normal people until I was diagnosed in my 40s - and the differences are so obvious now - I'm very aspie - I don't really do emotions - I'm closer to an android,    

I've had lots of injuries to growing up - knocked out half a dozen times in various accidents - who knows if they added to my problems.      Nothing is measurable so I just have to work with the hand I'm dealt.

Hi Plastic, Thanks for the reply. Sorting out the wheat from the chaff is what I aim to do. As a child at school at six I became top of the class then my writing became like a drunken snake.  I became nearly bottom of the class in most subjects. Could not follow the teachers talk. Felt very inferior and subnormal. But at home I worked through a whole set of Enyclopedias start to finish, read Greek mythology and lots if other stuff. Was sent to Child Guidance where I had a melt down. As well at five my father was killed in a shooting accident in the army, I was badly burned at nine with months in hospital, in a road accident at eleven with months in hospital.  As well constantly bullied at school.  I thought my learning problems were all caused by this.  But it was only later in life that I was observed and went for an assessment. Learning difficulties or disabilities run in the family as well there were other signs, not catch balls, walk up stairs, speech difficulties, myself and family.  There is lots more.

As well as now understanding the difference between mental illness and Dyspraxia I can understand how the stress of living with say Dyspraxia and Autism or just one can be stressful enough to make one ill even without the traumatic accidents.  I am sorry, there is lots more and complex and don’t want to bother anyone.

I know what it is like to want to do the right thing and have such a fear of not doing it because of a life of personality traits being seen as inferior.  Again I am learning.

Hi Aaron

Autism is extremely complex - it has a blanket name but it affects us in many varied ways..

I'm a mid 50s bloke - I suffer terribly from stress and anxiety combined with an utter compulsion to "Do the right thing" so that forces self-destructive behaviours.   

Have you looked at any of your behaviours for a root-cause to anything?    If you have other things going on in parallel, are you able to sort the wheat from the chaff?

Me too.

Welcome Aaron.

I had to google alexithymia - I will definitely be adding that to my research list!