Just saying hello

Hi Nic, it’s Very  early days for me, not even a week since I realised I’m autistic or have very strong autistic tendencies. But at the moment I think it’s a help, I’m recognising or rather more sensitive to these characteristics and able if not to adjust my behaviour at least not get too stressed or affected by certain situations. I don’t think I’ll be able to change things (I.e. my behaviour) much but I think I may be able to come to terms with who I am in a more positive way, rather than feeling inadequate or a failure. I think I have done well in life with a lovely family, house and good job, and although I do feel myself very lucky it’s not stopped me doubting myself or feeling a failure. My autism has negatively impacted on my relationships, where I thought the problem was with others being over sensitive, now I have a different perspective and hopefully a more positive one. 
a diagnosis I think will reinforce that and, if I decide to tell others, it will support me in my own confidence.

Hi Stefan , i'm in a similar position , I'm 51 , some years ago a councillor suggested i get a diagnosis, so now i'm just getting round to looking at it. I've always been socially awkward , but good academically and career wise, think i've decided i've got nothing to lose by exploring it and maybe a diagnosis will help me accept some of the things i struggle with 

Thanks aidie, I started a list as soon as I made the connection with autism, and I am adding anything that comes to mind in my past that may relate.
Before talking to my GP I will prepare my arguments as to why I need a diagnosis. Probably mainly about my  mental health and its affect on personal and work relations. I won't rush into telling anyone, other than my direct family, who know already and are very supportive. 

get the diagnosis ----  because it ends the search  and can be useful ( to other family members )  as a marker of autism in your family 

when u get a diagnosis then decide who to tell and when. ( me, i told my HR/immediate linemanager  within days no one else at work )  and my mum/autistic nephew/sisters a few months later.

here is the plan I followed

below it are some extra things to include

Make a list of reasons why u think u are autistic.

include relatives in your family who are autistic or adhd or called weird/different

and a list of occasions when u have been called weird, autistic, different

the list should be electronic ie so you can email it to anyone who wants it.

regards aidie

The GP might need convincing before he pushes the referral forward - there's no need to delay - do some research into Asperger's to understand what they are actually asking you.    If you self-analyse, you'll probably come to the conclusion that you suffer from an inability to process stress properly or deal with the unknown - and are easily overloaded by any stimulus - bright lights, noise, unexpected conversations etc.

You're perfectly fine to go all the way to diagnosis without telling anyone - they often want to talk to parents but they are often in denial about their perfect son - they accept you as you are - maybe even with a few quirks. 

Most of us survive in life by masking - a 'cover' persona that can provide basic, automatic responses to known situations - it gets us through the social nightmare that is life without overloading the mind.   

Unfortunately, life gets exponentially complex as we age so this basic mask often cannot cope so random outputs happen - you accidentally say something weird and everyone notices.

This gradual mask failure leads to you becoming more self-conscious - leading to more stress - and eventual brain-lock.

I'm a mid-50s aspie CEng - diagnosed in my early 40s - burned out and retired at 49.

Thanks, good advice. Though I wasn't planning on doing anything quickly, except I have organised an appointment (telephone) booked with my GP in April to at least try and start the ball rolling on a diagnosis (I presumed there is nothing to lose with this? or should I postpone once I have a better idea what to do).
I have done a number of online tests, including adjusting my answers a little where there is some ambiguity, and they have all indicated a "strong likelihood".
As I am managing OK in life just having an explanation for some of my 'faults' is a relief and may allow me to cope more easily by getting me to recognise and prepare for challenging situations better.

Hi

First, I suggest you do nothing and tell no-one - spend a good bit of time doing the on-line tests and see what you think.    There's no need to rush into things.

You must remember that everyone who knows you accepts you for who you are - you are likely to upset their world by suddenly announcing something like this - parents might feel they failed, friends might be alienated, work colleagues might see it as a weakness and so it can be career suicide.

Getting a diagnosis can be difficult - it takes years or you go private and pay up to £2k - think carefully about how a diagnosis might assist you.

The main thing to learn is how to be kind to yourself - anxiety and stress are killers - use this knowledge to make little changes in the way you treat yourself.