Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
A couple of days ago I read an article in the Times about a Royal Navy Vice Admiral and his discovery of his autism at 45 years and the similarities in the article with my own experiences (the autism not the top navy position!). This got me thinking and the after some investigating on the net I realised I did appear to have many autism traits, though relatively mild compared to many. I’ve just turned 60 but still remember childhood and later difficulties that I have always put down to being particularly shy and introverted. I do find it quite traumatic reading about this and also others’ experiences, but I think it can only be a good thing to continue investigate and learn more.
I am fortunate in that I have aa loving family and a good job but I have always had low self-esteem and elements of my character that I was continually trying to change with marginal success and which perhaps have been getting worse; maybe due to lockdown or maybe due to getting older? Realising much may be down to ASD has given me totally new perspective which I hope will help me.
I have always found it hard to socialise and am hopeless at small talk, but love preparing and organising, maybe a bit too much. I do seem to be sensitive to noise and light but not so much I ever noticed it as significant. I’m rather blunt in conversation, often interrupting and not listening to others, this has become more obvious during lockdown, with being in the same house all day each and every day my family. They are quick to draw attention to these traits and I just wonder what work colleagues think of me if that’s how I am with them.
I guess my main questions are whether I should:
Any advice would be appreciated, though I have yet to check-out the forums in more detail.
Hi
First, I suggest you do nothing and tell no-one - spend a good bit of time doing the on-line tests and see what you think. There's no need to rush into things.
You must remember that everyone who knows you accepts you for who you are - you are likely to upset their world by suddenly announcing something like this - parents might feel they failed, friends might be alienated, work colleagues might see it as a weakness and so it can be career suicide.
Getting a diagnosis can be difficult - it takes years or you go private and pay up to £2k - think carefully about how a diagnosis might assist you.
The main thing to learn is how to be kind to yourself - anxiety and stress are killers - use this knowledge to make little changes in the way you treat yourself.
Thanks, good advice. Though I wasn't planning on doing anything quickly, except I have organised an appointment (telephone) booked with my GP in April to at least try and start the ball rolling on a diagnosis (I presumed there is nothing to lose with this? or should I postpone once I have a better idea what to do).I have done a number of online tests, including adjusting my answers a little where there is some ambiguity, and they have all indicated a "strong likelihood".As I am managing OK in life just having an explanation for some of my 'faults' is a relief and may allow me to cope more easily by getting me to recognise and prepare for challenging situations better.