Hi Everyone

NAS68091 said:

Yes they mentioned they might want someone who knows me well to fill out a questionnaire. Is this absolutely necessary for the diagnoses?

To be honest, I don't know. In my assessment I talked to the consultant via video while my wife talked to the nurse and then we swapped over with me on video chat to the nurse.

I understand you being worried about speaking to your family. I spoke to my parents as I needed to get information about my early childhood.

I know nothing of the relationship you have with your family and I'm not telling you to tell them either, that is completely your choice. But remember this; You are you and a diagnosis won't change that, you will still be your parents child. You have always been ASD, your family have lived with you living with it.

That’s helpful thank you! I think I’ve only recently realised how much I mask. Completely unrelated I had to let my boss know about my social anxiety, as I was doing a lot of events before lockdown and it was starting to get a bit much. She nearly fell out of her chair and said she never knew cos I do the events so well, which seemed odd to me as I find them exhausting and assume it shows. I guess I have masked for so long I don’t really know how I’d behave unmasked, so I should probably find out!

Oh that’s so helpful thank you! That is pretty quick for a diagnosis to be fair, but you’re right, it will vary area to area.

Yes they mentioned they might want someone who knows me well to fill out a questionnaire. Is this absolutely necessary for the diagnoses? I’ve mentioned it to a couple of friends but i wouldn’t want to tell my family just yet, it would worry them too much.

I mainly reminded myself not to mask during the diagnostic assessments, because habitually, I would mask a lot during a formal setting with a stranger /professional person. The unmasked version of me is a lot more autistic and I even practised at home beforehand to check I could unmask in public.

There's a tendancy to think you've cheated after doing this (so don't be surprised if you feel that way).  But I was just my unmasked self, really. 

I was worried about that too.

What I would say is that there are plenty of people who identify as Autistic and live their lives without clinical diagnosis. But everyone is different. 

My form went in just as we entered into lockdown and I have just had my diagnosis in the last two weeks. Obviously this will differ from area to area.

If you don't get the diagnosis, you can always ask for a second opinion or go private if you can pay and feel you need a quicker diagnosis. 

One thing about worrying about a negative diagnosis, try not to. When you meet with the healthcare professionals be honest in your experiences and opinions.  I think that ASD specialists are more keyed into things like masking these days, 20 years ago I may not have got the diagnosis. 

Also have you talked to a close friend or relative about this and maybe they will go through the process with you? My wife helped massively, and part of my diagnosis was due to her input with the consultant and mental health nurse.

I hope that this helps.

Hi!Ive recently come to the conclusion I might be autistic. (I’m 33.) I always knew there was something different about me, but could never figure out what. I also never really knew what autism was until I did some reading on the subject a couple of weeks ago, and then it was like The penny dropped! So many things sounded like me! I’ve sent off my referral form tonight, but I realise it might be some time before I get a diagnosis, and maybe even longer than usual because of lockdown. But the thing that’s worrying me most atm would be if they turned round and told me I’m not autistic. That would horrible, after thinking I’ve started to understand myself a bit more, and then having that taken away again.

Hi Aidie

I used to work as a 3rd tier server/infrastructure "engineer" but have moved out of the technical side and now work in IT Asset and Change Management.

Funnily enough,  my wife also works in the public sector. We've both been on and off wfh. I find WFH the hardest as it is difficult to transition from home me to work me.

I work in public sector IT as well, so does my wife. Both of us are working from home. Are you working from Home (WFH) ? What field of IT are you in ? eg developer, tester, database manager .......  Oh I was similar to you in that my autism got worse and so I had to get a diagnosis ( approx 1 year ago ) as I was getting into arguments etc. I looked into this briefly ( research papers )  and yep autism can get worse as you get older.   My "solution/response"  to getting a  diag. of autism  was to teach myself meditation ( Zen/Mindfulness ) which l still do everyday.   

Join the Club.

I'm burning out rapidly as a forty-one-year-old.

I blew my GCSE years at school as my head of year said I couldn't do Computer Studies with poor handwriting, which makes no sense because with that logic I couldn't do any subject.  So I didn't do any subject and came away with nothing. I was incredibly good at Elite though as while my Mum and Dad thought I was doing homework, I was actually playing on the family BBC micro which I'd moved into my bedroom (no one else knew how to use it).

I think I have too. I used to call them my "crashes". I used to wish i could wipe the slate and start again. 

Thanks!

Welcome!x

Looking back I think I've had a few "burnouts" over the years (even at school). I've always been lucky and had someone or something rescue me.

Ah relax at home! That would be nice. Yes I can but usually it is after the kids have gone to bed and we've had our dinner, so late. I occasionally drop my mask but this leads to me ignoring everyone as my mind either obsesses about one thing or rapidly bounces around the place. I also tend to get distracted by things, a gaming book or a miniature I've painted and can spend hours studying it if I let myself.

The truth is I've been masking for so long, I'm not actually sure what is the real me and I'm slowly getting to know myself. I'm trying to break the mask to meltdown cycle. 

Hello, welcome and thanks for your introduction. I also feel that my 'burnout quotient' as I call it, is increasing as I get older.

I am sure my father was an undiagnosed autistic, he suffered a burnout in his 50s that I never understood, but do now. 

I am also diagnosed late in life and went through a process of reconceptualising all my life. It was a positive experience for me and I think it lead to me allowing myself to stop masking, at least at home. Home is where I can relax.Is that a possibility fo yoy? Less masking at home?