Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I'm in my late forties, married with three children I work for in IT for the NHS.
I've been recently diagnosed as ASD, although my wife and then myself have suspected this for years.
With diagnosis comes acceptance which is proving anything but straightforward but at least the am I or aren't if moments have gone. At least now I can see why I acted as I have done and said what I have said overcome life.
Work and family pressure over the last few years has led to me displaying more and more autistic behaviour as making has become more difficult. I also worry that as I am getting older I have less energy reserves. This leaves me having more meltdowns or withdrawals as I struggle to cope with rapidly changing situations both at work and at home.
Cheers
Colin
Hi!Ive recently come to the conclusion I might be autistic. (I’m 33.) I always knew there was something different about me, but could never figure out what. I also never really knew what autism was until I did some reading on the subject a couple of weeks ago, and then it was like The penny dropped! So many things sounded like me! I’ve sent off my referral form tonight, but I realise it might be some time before I get a diagnosis, and maybe even longer than usual because of lockdown. But the thing that’s worrying me most atm would be if they turned round and told me I’m not autistic. That would horrible, after thinking I’ve started to understand myself a bit more, and then having that taken away again.
I mainly reminded myself not to mask during the diagnostic assessments, because habitually, I would mask a lot during a formal setting with a stranger /professional person. The unmasked version of me is a lot more autistic and I even practised at home beforehand to check I could unmask in public.
There's a tendancy to think you've cheated after doing this (so don't be surprised if you feel that way). But I was just my unmasked self, really.
I was worried about that too.
What I would say is that there are plenty of people who identify as Autistic and live their lives without clinical diagnosis. But everyone is different.
My form went in just as we entered into lockdown and I have just had my diagnosis in the last two weeks. Obviously this will differ from area to area.
If you don't get the diagnosis, you can always ask for a second opinion or go private if you can pay and feel you need a quicker diagnosis.
One thing about worrying about a negative diagnosis, try not to. When you meet with the healthcare professionals be honest in your experiences and opinions. I think that ASD specialists are more keyed into things like masking these days, 20 years ago I may not have got the diagnosis.
Also have you talked to a close friend or relative about this and maybe they will go through the process with you? My wife helped massively, and part of my diagnosis was due to her input with the consultant and mental health nurse.
I hope that this helps.