Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I'm in my late forties, married with three children I work for in IT for the NHS.
I've been recently diagnosed as ASD, although my wife and then myself have suspected this for years.
With diagnosis comes acceptance which is proving anything but straightforward but at least the am I or aren't if moments have gone. At least now I can see why I acted as I have done and said what I have said overcome life.
Work and family pressure over the last few years has led to me displaying more and more autistic behaviour as making has become more difficult. I also worry that as I am getting older I have less energy reserves. This leaves me having more meltdowns or withdrawals as I struggle to cope with rapidly changing situations both at work and at home.
Cheers
Colin
Hi!Ive recently come to the conclusion I might be autistic. (I’m 33.) I always knew there was something different about me, but could never figure out what. I also never really knew what autism was until I did some reading on the subject a couple of weeks ago, and then it was like The penny dropped! So many things sounded like me! I’ve sent off my referral form tonight, but I realise it might be some time before I get a diagnosis, and maybe even longer than usual because of lockdown. But the thing that’s worrying me most atm would be if they turned round and told me I’m not autistic. That would horrible, after thinking I’ve started to understand myself a bit more, and then having that taken away again.
I mainly reminded myself not to mask during the diagnostic assessments, because habitually, I would mask a lot during a formal setting with a stranger /professional person. The unmasked version of me is a lot more autistic and I even practised at home beforehand to check I could unmask in public.
There's a tendancy to think you've cheated after doing this (so don't be surprised if you feel that way). But I was just my unmasked self, really.
That’s helpful thank you! I think I’ve only recently realised how much I mask. Completely unrelated I had to let my boss know about my social anxiety, as I was doing a lot of events before lockdown and it was starting to get a bit much. She nearly fell out of her chair and said she never knew cos I do the events so well, which seemed odd to me as I find them exhausting and assume it shows. I guess I have masked for so long I don’t really know how I’d behave unmasked, so I should probably find out!