Published on 12, July, 2020
My (recently ex) boyfriend and i met when we were 16 and had dated up until the COVID-19 lockdown. We had previously had a brief breakup back in January due to him needing space after an incident with his mother. He gave me very little reason for this sudden breakup other than "I can't do a relationship right now" after being very happily together before this all happened. I can't help but feel he only pushes me away when his life becomes difficult as a result of external factors and was wondering if anyone else had experienced something similar with a partner on the spectrum?
I love him very much and had been with him for almost a year and a half so i am just trying to understand if (though he may not want to admit it) he pushed me away simply because everything going on at the moment had just become too much to deal with on top of a relationship.
I have given him space now to focus on getting through lockdown but in the case that we do get back together how might i help when these situations arise.
Again i am very new to all this so i am sorry if i have caused any offence.
Denise
Hi! I am going through pretty much the exact same thing right now and wondering if you had any advice seen as though this post was from 8 months ago
Glad you found this, I just read it and was going to link you to it. Yeah, mirrors my situation. And yeah, I wondered how it's turned out for them, I hope they found a way to communicate. Gosh it's hard.
Mark (NicheMarket) Daisy1407
Hi guys,
I ended up giving him time (we didn't talk for about a month). We reconnected once everyone was allowed to meet up again and eventually got back together. The relationship is by no means easy and he often doesn't understand why I get upset at certain things he does and says (mainly this thing he has about keeping me separate from his uni friends). I would say the only thing you can do is give it time and not overwhelm them telling them how unfair the situation is (particularly if like my situation it came out of no where). Let them miss you! I know its a bit crap but if they have something going on you'll only push them away more by bombarding them with the big WHY?
Let me know if I can be of any more help :)
Aww that's brutal. When someone wants to be in a relationship but can't. I'm glad at least you've got clarity about what's going on. I'm in a similar situation in a way. I'd like to be in a relationship with my best friend, but even though he's now split up from his ex he can't handle the lies he's told her about me. He's in total shutdown and now can't handle seeing me either. It's frustrating, and also I,m trying to guess if time will change things, or how long, but maybe he'll never be able to own up to the truth and will just find someone else. Grrr!
I told him I needed to give him some space. He told me he wants to be with me and loves me but doesn’t want me to wait for him to get better, he just can’t deal with the pressures of a relationship. It’s hard but I know that I can’t change his mind. He needs to work on himself and get to a point where he feels okay to be in a relationship again wether that’s with me or someone else.