living With Asperger As I Get Older

Hi again! Spent many years there myself; mostly in remote rural areas. and mining areas. I left because the isolation was getting too much for me. I returned there briefly two years ago for a diagnosis of Asperger's/ASD. I have also been diagnosed GAD. You might say that I'm a fairly keen observer of the difficulties for people living in both rural and urban areas. I'm still quite isolated here, though living in a city.. I have largely learned to live a fairly solitary life, but I cannot really recommend it. ;-)

 I've read a few of the posts, and reckon a lot of their advice will be far more relevant than anything I can say, as I'm on the other side of the World.

But if you want to send me a few PMs while you are on the night shift, they will probably get pretty swift attention. I might have some info of use to you, depending on your location. I don't really like placing support group links on this forum, because I suspect NAS don't really much appreciate personal endorsements; except those on their own website. But I will just briefly say that there will likely be some younger participants who might have similar interests to your own. Also i still have a few possible informants.

Hi @Tom,

I am sorry that you are struggling at the moment and feel there is a lack of support. 

You may like to contact our Autism Helpline team who can provide you with information and advice . You can contact the team via telephone on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor. Alternatively, should you prefer to send a message, you can do so via their webform:

https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx

All the best,

ChloeMod.

It sounds like you have a lot of self-awareness of what your challenges are you just need to work out a plan on how to start tackling them. From your post, it comes across as though your ability to manage anger, as well as your anxiousness,  is making you feel uncomfortable.

Anxiety is a normal reaction to many situations and as autistic people we're living in a world that wasn't designed for our way of thinking, therefore, a lot of us will always be more anxious than the average person. The best way I've found to reduce my anxieties is to excercise and eat healthily. For example, if I've had a frustrating day at work and simply sat at home ruminating about my thoughts I'd start to catastrophise, whereas, if I get in and go running it helps to clear my head so I can have a more enjoyable evening. it also helps to accept who you are. I'm due to give birth in a few weeks so am struggling to sleep, worry about leaving the iron on when I've left the house etc. In the past I'd of thought I was a failure to react like this, now I understand this is a natural reaction to a major change and a lot of people go through this.

In regards to reducing your anger and developing more healthy reactions to situations, you could look at counselling with Action for Aspergers, speak to your GP about anger management courses, read self-help books etc. 

I found the Chimp Paradox a really useful book to help me understand why our emotions work in the way they do.

What do you do to unwind?   Do you have a hobby that de-stresses you or anywhere you like to go where you find tranquillity?    As I've become an old aspie, I've found the need to disappear into my quiet space to be much more important - I don't have the resilience to live in the NT world for too long.

I'm finding day to day life stressful my anger is getting worse and i feeling the need to lash out more (i've had a good control over it all up till this point) I'm finding myself feeling uncomfortable in my own skin if that makes sense  my anxiety levels are through the roof I'm finding that im closing off from everyone and thing, i don't know how to word the rest of what I'm feeling at the moment i don't know the words to describe it 

Yes and no. I was first diagnosed two years and did find there wasn't a one-stop-shop to find strategies for things I found difficult e.g managing sensory overload. As someone who also has ADHD, I found the need to look at multiple sources and especially the over-reliance on documenting this information in book form difficult as it was hard to maintain my concentration. I've now found ways to manage my sensory needs e.g use of a gravity blanket, essential oils etc. Plus, from reading more about autism I have a greater awareness of my general needs and how to manage these, especially around socialising. My diagnosis also opened up medical support in the form of sleeping tablets, although I'm suffering from pregnancy insomnia at the minute.

From reading these boards, as well as from other autistic people I've met, I have found that there seems to be a tendency to blame everything on being autistic when it comes across that they have poor coping skills in general or they're facing the same problems that NT folk do but are blaming the issues on being ND.

It might help if you list what you're finding difficult then others could reply with what they've found helpful to overcome similar challenges?

You might also find the counselling from Action for Aspergers helpful.

Hi Senior Moment, I'm from Wales, Your not wrong about the sleeping then again i think thats just me i'm a bit of a night owl / Gamer  

First off Tom, what area do you live in? So you can get the advice of people who live in roughly the same area. Support networks are a bit patchy across the country. I certainly know how you feel (as a senior ;-), but I'm not currently in the UK. Judging by the timing of your post, you are probably not sleeping so well, so in a different time zone I decided I should answer first. If you are still around, I'd advise you to give us a bit more information and then go back to sleep with the feeling that you have put some wheels in motion!. It is highly likely you will get some sound advice from UK residents a few hours from now. Time to relax, in the meantime! This forum will help!