This is my first post after joining the NAS and attending 2 support meetings as my new husband and I are struggling and arguing over how to work with my son and I am looking for help and support from fellow parents and asperger adults for advice and guidance.
I have found there is too much information available online and I struggle to see the 'wood for the trees'.
My husband feels I am being manipulated and my son can do far more on his own, whereas I like to take little steps at a time and feel like 'piggy' in the middle.
Any pointers on the way forward would be greatly appreciated.
If you would like to speak to someone who can offer you advice and support you may like to consider contacting the following services:
Our Parent to Parent service offers emotional support to parents and carers of children or adults with autism. This service is confidential and run by trained parent volunteers who are all parents themselves of a child or adult with autism. You contact the team on 0808 800 4106. Please leave a message and the team will call you back as soon as possible at a time that suits you, including evenings and weekends. Alternatively you can use contact the team via web form: http://www.autism.org.uk/services/community/family-support/parent-to-parent/enquiry.aspx
Our Autism Helpline team who can provide you with information and advice . You can contact the team via telephone on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline often experiences a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor. Alternatively, should you prefer to send a message, you can do so via their webform: https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx
I hope that is some help.
What you said really struck a chord about too much information online . I feel exactly the same as I struggle to find help for my daughter . I think your small step approach is probably best . People with asd struggle to process instructions and retain information so you shouldn’t overwhelm them with too much at one time .
Like you I also feel like piggy in the middle (I’m assuming your husband is not your son’s dad) my husband is also not my daughter’s dad so does not have the same emotional involvement that I have . I was told recently by a counsellor that my daughter is manipulating us and that we shouldn’t let her control everything . At first I thought that he was probably right but then when I thought about it I realised that she can’t empathise in the same way as people without asd so she can’t really help behaving as she does. She sees the world in s totally different way and it’s probably the same for your son . Frustrating as it is I think it helps to try and see things from their perspective - otherwise you are constantly fighting a losing battle and feeling that somehow you have failed because you’re not ‘taking control’ of the situation.
I hope you find some help and support with your son x Anna
Thanks, Anna, I think my son does manipulate me, both with and without knowing it. Sometimes though I just like to choose the battles and my husband and I are going to the NAS parent session next week where we live so hopefully we will gather more understanding as we go along.