• Replies 8 replies
  • Subscribers 25 subscribers
  • Views 2023 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Some General Advice

Angela1181

Hey everyone :)

Im looking for some feedback before i take my 7 year old daughter to GP.

I feel like I'm at my wits end with my eldest of 2 girls. I'm not really sure how to move forward and really help her. I suspect that she is somewhere on the spectrum for aspergers, the school have not really been much help and i feel because she is a girl that these things are being put down to her nature.

* No eye contact when conversing (she will when you remind her but looks uncomfortable).

* Absolutely obssesed with horses as in if she dosn't mention them at least once an hour it's a miracle, she knows alot about them however is frightened of them in "real life". Her play-time and free time is only about playing horsey games etc. As stupid as it sounds after 4 years of this its one of the things that tire's me out the most.

* No social skills with children her own age, its almost like she dosn't know how to act. Also because of the above obsession alot of children do not want to play with her. This usually leads to them laughing at her etc having a huge effect of self esteem. No real friends at school.

* Never looks happy to see you, dosnt come running up like other kids at school shouting "mummy" dosn't say hello or goodbye in any situation unless prompted.

* Very rarely acknowledges people (adults and children) if they call her name, spends alot of time "zoned out" as i call it.

* Dosn't look like she is enjoying going out anywhere (fireworks, funfair, a show, days out etc) loud noises seem to affect her, she says she has enjoyed it afterwards almost like at the time its too much to take in.

* She pulls strange facial expressions, by this i mean the expression dosn't seem to fit the situation.

* Extremely under confident, too self aware, afraid of everthing, lack of co-ordination.

* Severe lack of concentration, she cant follow more than 1 instruction at a time.

There are other things but i feel these are affecting her the most. All my efforts so far have failed to help her and if anything i feel it's getting worse. I know none of you can diagnose her, i'd just like some feedback and some info before i go along to the GP.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Angela x

  • Hi new here but seems same old story, the diagnosis saga, I think GP's need more education in this field ASD is just that a spectrum which by definition means a broad variety. My son is 9 he has never spoken a word and still has to wear nappies, has no sense of fear or danger which means we all live in a constant state of lock down or he will climb out of windows etc. also has other what you would call standard autistic traits but get this bit it took 3 years of being in a special needs school with all his teachers saying its ASD for the "specialist" to finally give the diagnosis because........he recognised us with a smile whenever we came to pick him up from school. Unreal. I have coached football to ASD kiddies for 3 years and I can tell you not one was the same as the next. Spectrum....... Also because of this "specialist" he had to endure about 15-20 different "specialists" from neurologists to geneticists. MRI scans all blank. 

    So rant over my advice is this you know your kids so follow your gut and your heart it is tough but as equally rewarding as any child, you have to do whatever works for you in dealing with a situation, oh and NEVER TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER, push push push badger badger badger. 

  • Hi,

    i would support the comments here already.  We had difficulties with my son from when he was very young (he had to be rocked for hours before he would go to sleep) but because he was academic and somewhat timid at school it was impossible to get the problems (with self control, with applying himself to work, with any new situation) recognised or addressed.  It was only when I got a diagnosis of Aspegers (confirmation of a self-diagnosis) that I realised he was also on the spectrum and this explained his behaviour.  I think the sooner everyone in the family is aware of the situation and knows as much as possible about the condition the easier it is to devise appropriate stratagies so everybody is able to play to their strenghts.

  • hey Angela,

    My son is 6 years old and was first referred to the doctors by his nursery age 3.. I was told at this point my son needed love and attention which was causing his behaviour (I was pregnant with my second son at the time) I was devastated but took the doctors word for it.

    I struggeld on for a few more years then last year I spoke with my health visitor whom advised me to contact the school nurse as the school nurse would be able to get a referral quicker than the healthvisitor/doctor. I also went direct to the school and asked them to make a referral. I then got together a diary of about 12weeks and wrote a letter to my doctor with all the history and every single symptom I had noticed in my son and all my concerns. My son likes to line things up, toy bricks, cd's books you name it, I included pictures of these and examples of his obsessions (Mario, Whales etc) This ended up being a great big pile of information and the receptionist at the doctorslooked slightly shocked when I asked for it to be handed to my doctor and an appointment booked for two weeks time to discuss!

    Getting all this paperwork together took alot of time and effort buthas helped me so much, I handed all the information I had put together in to my doctor and was promised a referal. I had an appointment come through the post to meet the peaditrician 10.01.2012 and my concerns were orginaly Aspergers but was advised my son shows signs of ASD, ADHD,Aspergers and Dyspraxia! Peadiatrician is now writing letters to my doctor and the school to confirm.

    My best advice would be to write a diary on your daughter, this was the best advice the school nurse gave me as it helped to identify triggers for certain beaviours in my son. Pedeatrician has also took copies of all my paperwork to aid his diagnosis. To add it also turnt out that it was the school nurse who had got the apointment with the pedeatrician and not my doctor. Have you tried contacting the school nurse for your school or healthvisitor? Goodluck with it all, I am still in the early stages and have only just jumped the first hurdle of getting that key appointment but  definately took a lot of pushing.  Diary is a big help,I highlighted the parts which I thought were relevant.

  • I agree with Andrea. Keep at it. You might get people who look at you blankly but you know your daughter - they don't. ASD is very complex and I have also found that my son is getting worse as he gets towards adolescence.  

  • Hi please go to your GP and ask for help now. My daughter is 12 and just going through assessment. We see the Child Psychologist next week so will hopefully get our diagnosis.

    My daughter has always been obsessed by animals for as long as I can remember. She has a particular love of dogs. When she was small she was convinced she was going to grow up to be a Dalmation, she even wanted to wee in the back garden because that's what dogs do!

    She has had problems with sleep, meltdowns and sensory issues with clothing all of her life. However she is academic and always appeared fine at school. We always thought these were things she'd grow out of, but never has.

    We started to see some deterioration last year as she headed towards adolescence and went to our GP for help, he refered us to CAMHS. However the CAMHS service fobbed us off and fobbed us off, I think some of this was due to the fact that school were still saying there were no issues.

    She started comp last September and we have seen a huge decline in her wellbeing, she has really struggled. Her sensory issues have become much worse, her temper/meltdowns have been horrendous and she's suffered huge amounts of anxiety.

    We've been lucky because the SENCO at her new school has been fantastic and has an excellent understanding of ASD, she's pushed my daughters case with CAMHS which is why they're finally taking notice of us.

    If you feel their are issues with your daughter, please don't leave it like we did. There's nothing worse than seeing your child deteriorate in front of your eyes. Push for help and if you get fobbed off push some more. You know your child best and don't let anyone tell you different

    Good luck

    Andrea

  • Hi Angela

    My son is 10 and I went to the GP a couple of months ago about his challenging behaviour.  He is fairly OK in school and the school are no help with his diagnosed dyslexia. Today we had a 2 hour appointment with a psychologist which I feel was very productive and he is being referred to a unit that deals with social communication (I forget the name of the unit). She has also referred him to a paediatritian because of his lack of co-ordination.

    My advice is that it doesn't really matter what is wrong so long as she gets help for her specific needs and difficulties. Go to the GP and just explain your concerns and asked to be referred to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) if the GP doesn't automatically suggest it. It is a long process so get in there ASAP.

    I'm so glad I went as they are now going to talk to the school about his problems as the school doesn't understand them.  This could happen in your daughter's case too.

    Good luck!

     

  • Thank you Katie :)

    Kelsey never lashes out or is difficult, this seems to be the stumbling block for the school, she's actually extremely passive.

    I have read that there seems to be more difficulty in getting girls diagnosed which is a shame, I'm sure i will also run into problems, I just want to be able to help her and make her life easier for her whether she is diagnosed or not :(

    Thank you for taking the time to reply, its appreciated.

    Angela x

  • Hiya, I'm Katie. I'm 17 and was diagnosed with Aspergers late last year.

    I was a lot like your daughter, only I'm more into dragons/bats than horses, generally I'm a tomboy. But it took me reffering myself to the GP for OCD after a breakdown to eventually get diagnosed.

    It does sound like she has a lot of the traits, but don't expect help from the school. According to the psychologist that diagnosed me, my 'mini breakdowns' at primary where I would scream, kick, refuse to eat etc when moved into a new part of the school (from nursery to reception, from infants to juniors AND when the two were merged into a primary) were big hints, however the teacher (who was also 'head' of SEN) just thought I was being difficult purely because I've always been an academic student.

    Word of warning: Many GP's probably won't be fully aware of what Aspergers/Autism really is, so press the matter, because a) girls display different 'trait's' to boys with aspergers/ASD and b) many haven't actually been trained or taught about recognising it.

    Don't mean to sound negative just wanted to give you a warning in advance. :)

    Hope things work out for you.