Do people actually like doing hobbies etc., or is it all for show?

Thank you! 

That's a lovely selection of hobbies and some good things to think about.

I think I might try to take up skipping, which is something I liked when I was much younger. Maybe walking will be a good one now the weather's better but it's not too hot :)

That does make sense about the hobby stuff in charity shops! 

I think I do enjoy researching things too, but it's easy to get stressed about it when it's for work/uni. Someone told me recently that it's wonderful to be immersed in study and to enjoy the journey. I very much liked this advice. 

Marianne72 said:

Chris Packham, David Attenborough, Charles Darwin

The world would be a much less interesting place without these people and the knowledge they've shared!

Thank you, I do generally like what I do in my apprenticeship.

I'll continue having a good think about this!

Wordsmith said:

'What actually brings you joy?'

I'd say I've been pretty hobby-less since the end of primary school (quite a while ago!). This is interesting data to have, and does make sense for a couple of reasons. Maybe something from back then will spark my interest :)

This thread is available again 

Thank you mods. 

Hello BeaE.

I hear you, it can be difficult when the hobbies and interests that we have invested our time into no longer seem as enjoyable, becoming a drag - I know for a fact, i've experienced a similar frustration when trying to convince myself to do the things I have previously found pride in.

While I know our community will have fantastic feedback to provide, I would like to share some resources in order to potentially explore how your feelings:

Autistic fatigue and burnout

Focused and dedicated interests

It tells you are certainly trying to find a way to make sense of what you are experiencing, which can be far from from easy - I wish you the best in understanding what works for you.

Thanks - Zac Mod.

Hobbies can be beneficial in my experience, although a big problem is hyperfocus, so I get locked on until I see it through to the end of a project or it becomes another unfinished hobby.  I have also become disheartened by the fact I'm not very good at the hobbies I have 'enjoyed' and have actually not improved with the ones I tend to go back to time and time again, so that leads to feelings of time wasted. That may come from the feelings of time passing ever more quickly the older you get.

Hello. I have also struggled with similar feelings. Still do sometimes, but not as bad as before. I find hobbies a useful way to disconnect and have a life away from my job. While it can be helpful to have some hobby or activity that you do with other people, to share that experience, it's not absolutely essential.

My hobbies include:

• Reading
• Walking
• Cycling
• Cooking
• Board games - especially Scrabble
• Card games
• LEGO
• Collecting Tube maps
• Collecting old coins

Most of these I do on my own, and I've spent years learning to live with that. Some people may think of me, and my hobbies, as boring, but I don't care.  You've got to learn not to care. I find my hobbies interesting and fulfilling, and that's what matters. As for your hobbies, own them. Own who you are. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. If people judge you for your hobbies, that's their problem. Life is too short to worry about what other people think about you or what you do with your life.

Sometimes you'll try to get into something and it won't quite work out, e.g. I tried tennis for several years but never really got into it.

It may take a long time trying lots of different things before you find something that you enjoy. Be patient with yourself. For some things that you try, you may need to do it several times before deciding whether you want to keep doing it long-term.

Don't feel bad for not finishing a book or a project. Sometimes these things aren't suited for you.

Some hobbies are quite passive e.g. train spotting, plane spotting, or birdwatching. Others, such as sports, are more active.

Collecting old objects might also be nice.

Cooking is a great hobby (although you may need to buy some equipment first)

I wouldn't recommend travel as a hobby, given that it is time-consuming, stressful, expensive, and a frequent change of environment may be extremely uncomfortable.

Perhaps something less stressful such as learning another language, or learning to play an instrument?

You don't have to have loads of hobbies. Start with two or three small ones, not too stressful. Don't feel like you have to have a productive hobby e.g. writing books or making clothes. Don't feel that you have to monetise your hobbies or post about them on social media or whatever. You can be comfortable with who you are, and you can get on with your life.

Don't give up!

I believe in you!  I reckon everyone else here believes in you as well!

I started a lot of different hobbies over the years, buying tools and materials and starting but then left these things gathering dust. I sometimes tried again, not because I particularly wanted to, but guilt over wasting money. Now I'm older I don't feel so anxious about this and simply give or throw things away, having regular de-cluttering sessions. I've just had a recent de-clutter and gave away, for example, a soldering kit, a hedge-trimming set too heavy for me, and lots of books I've had for years but never re-read. 

So, I would conclude what you're doing is perfectly 'normal' [to use that much over-used term!] - it's why there is so much hobby stuff in charity shops! I too prefer study and learning - a lot of people on this site are the same. You don't have to have 'hobbies' in the conventional sense of the word. Why force yourself to do something merely because you feel it's, 'the right thing to do'? Remember that world experts accumulate knowledge through spending a huge proportion of their life studying - look at Chris Packham, David Attenborough, Charles Darwin.. Look at such people as your role models, not urban myths about expectations / time management.

Have you ever had a hobby in life that you remember getting into? 

Do you enjoy working and/or studying? Your comment about 'living to work' suggests that you might. In that case, I don't think you need to worry about not having hobbies. To adapt a slogan from the world of decluttering, 'What actually brings you joy?' If you enjoy it, do it. If not, why bother?

BeaE said:

cow in a lab coat! 

I very much relate to this (apart from the parenting bit, which I imagine makes things much more complicated!) I'm glad it's not just me! 

I actually really get this. My work is one of my biggest intertests and when it's going well it's really fulfilling (and when it's not I get really depressed as I have self esteem issues). 

Due to the hours I work, i can be too tired to do much else other than a half hour decompress watching a light tv programme.  I like reading and when I'm really into my book, that's all I want to do when I have any free time (and when ti's really exciting then I neglect other things to do it). But if I'm tired, I can't do much and often just need to go to bed.

But then when I do have some elusive freetime, I don't have any other hobbies on the go, so I can be lost and not know what to do with myself -just sitting on the sofa in my own mind. I know I love drawing and gaming, but when you haven't done anything in a while it's hard to get into it again. Part of this I know is to do with being a mum and identity loss there, but I was never strong at having my own identity anyway (tending to fit around people and what I am doing). So yeah, I do get it when you say free time can lead to an identy crisis.

BeaE said:

Like you say it has been counterproductive to force myself into things just because I feel I ought to!

Yes, it really is.

I'd just carry on doing what you want to be doing and forget about the rest.

I went on a caligraphy class and afterwards a friend of mine bought me a beautiful book.

I also bought myself a wonderful wooden pen and ink set.

However, the fact is I was rubbish at it and those 2 things sat and looked at me for years until I eventually gave them away.

BeaE said:

By this I meant do people pretend to like a hobby to look cool, or attract friends, or do what they 'should' be doing.

Interesting.

I don't know about others but personally when I'm interested in something I find I can't turn my mind off about it and it becomes rather 'obsessional'.

Stuart333 said:

If you do a job that also holds your interest you may need a defined hobby less

Thank you, I think this might be the case. Though I've realised that perhaps a lack of other interests does leave me open to a bit of an identity crisis when issues with inevitably arise at work, or when the academic year ends. 

This made me laugh and I now also have the mental image of the cow in a lab coat! 

Thank you for your reply, I think perhaps I'm thinking about these things too narrowly.

B said:

With regard to 'all for show' I wasn't sure what you mean?

By this I meant do people pretend to like a hobby to look cool, or attract friends, or do what they 'should' be doing.

E.g. a lot of people who are my age have the hobby of going to the gym. I'm unsure if they actually like going to the gym, or if it serves their lifestyle in a different way.

B said:

It sounds as though the projects you refer to here might be described as hobbies

I've tried various hobbies including craft projects, but just seem to be generally disinterested in them. I've tried to do various hobbies that I felt that I should be doing, in the hope that I would like them. Like you say it has been counterproductive to force myself into things just because I feel I ought to!

Cinnabar_wing said:

(After I posted the cow now has a lab coat on for me)

Me too now.

Cinnabar_wing said:

Bio-moooo-dical

️

Yeah, when it's full, you get to look through and you do realise you have improved since the earliest stuff in there, and then I didn't mind culling the weaker stuff (any favourites still got kept longer).