Do people actually like doing hobbies etc., or is it all for show?

What are knitting looms?

I enjoy working on my hobbies.  I love making different things with my knitting looms.

I focus on what i have achieved by the hobby.

Even when in an alexithymiic state I found myself able to review what I had created when gardening or model aeroplane making and reflect that my time spent had been succesful.

This helped me to identify happiness.

So I achieved happiness thro' the hobby (and relaxation, a change in the way I experienced the world etc..)  - maybe a good start.

Best Wishes

Phased

NAS50553 said:

don’t like starting something unless I know I can spend every second working on it until it is complete.

I have to finish things too - it can be very annoying. Try getting some books from the library about generic hobbies - you might get some ideas from that. What often motivates me is seeing something I'd like for my home or garden, either in a book or on TV, then trying to copy it.

I think I might score very low on this index.

I do have special interests/hobbies that give a meaning to my life, but it can be challenging a bit if an interest runs to an end. The thing is that autism a part of the criteria  hobbies special interests can come under this. However, not everybody will score the same in this area and you can be mild moderate and severe and may be even score a 0 and still pass the test. I scored moderate in this area and it is important to me.

1)Excessive Interest in Unusual or Highly Specific Topics/ Objects or Repetitive Behaviours 

2) Compulsions or Rituals

I actually like my hobbies and certainly they are not for show.  In fact i keep them a secret because it is no ones business what i do or how I spend my time.

I just thought people who are religious would probably attend services etc. 

my point being - if they do other groups connected to their religion they would find it fun and could be a hobby - the services could count as a hobby too, as they would be doing something they enjoy 

not sure if it make ssense

It seems to have been decided that humans are social animals therefore we MUST socialise. Not all of us want to be surrounded by people all the time, or even most of the time, we get told we should say yes to more things that bring us into contact with others, but what if the things are unsuitable for any reason? Should you say yes to trips to restaurants, when your diet is limited? Should you say yes to holidays, when you hate to travel? I think many of these assumptions are really damaging, what if you'd love to go out and eat more often, but can't? What if you'd love to travel but can't? There are loads of reasons why people find socialising difficult and being told that you "should" just makes life feel more isolating. It's great if you don't get lonely, if you do and there are reasons why socialising is difficult then being told you should try anre about as helpful as being told to cheer up when you're depressed.

Thanks for the link to the very interesting article on focused and dedicated interests.

I enjoy my 'special' interests, including this chat site, far more since I retired; now actively disliking 'socialising' even with autistic social groups. I have painful joints and always disliked driving and travelling, hence staying around home, looking after it and the gardens, keeps me fully occupied, without the stress of meeting new people or travelling. I hate hearing autistic people who choose a solitary lifestyle being misunderstood or ridiculed; ergo, 'Jonny no-mates' as a removals man said when I mentioned online chat for autistics. I do hope NAS will keep striving to get people to understand, that this is an equally valid lifestyle and also brings joy and peace, to say nothing of the expertise gained in this way, on a huge range of subjects - exploring all the wonderful varieties of experience of life.

Sorry to hear you have a hard time with this too. It's difficult to start new things and get out of that conveyor belt feeling, as you very nicely worded it. Wishing you luck with finding something fun to do

I feel the same way, I could have written your post. I don’t do anything except go to the gym in the middle of the day when it’s quiet. That is just because it’s healthy to go, I don’t really like it. Apart from that I can’t afford to do anything else except watch things online or list at to music. I do not have any friends or a social circle, just a few people from my old work I keep in contact with via text msg occasionally. I find it very hard to initiate doing a new thing. Even if it’s going to a shop. So starting a new hobby is not fun. I feel like I’m just filling time, even when I had a job, I felt like I was on a conveyor belt, working hard, to repeat it the next day. It felt like I was filling time. 
I also get very focused so don’t like starting something unless I know I can spend every second working on it until it is complete. I hope we find something fun to do… good luck. 

thanks

Lonehare12 said:

Its never wasted time if you’re enjoying yourself.

So true! I found this so many times. After decades of pottering in the garden, I've made quite a few good garden designs that received praise. The whole thing about learning is that it is often 2 steps back and 1 forward then suddenly things click and you realize you're really good at something.

I know that feeling too Unsure, I tried really hard with art, I love the colours and textures of different paints and crayons, but my skill begins and ends with drawing a bath. Everyone I've talked to about it says that being able to draw is unnessercary, but I totally disagree, I think it's the start of all artistic endevours. So many things I'd love to do, like garden design, interior design as well as something purely decorative and fun for me have a need for a basic level of drawing. It's so disapointing when you've spent hours doing something and it's still crap I get fed up at the amount of money I've spent on what ever it is I've tried to do and all to no real avail.

I’m sorry to hear that you are disheartened by not being good at your hobbies.

I think the most important thing is I noticed you said that you enjoyed the hobby.

Being good or bad at something isn’t a requirement for enjoyment and if you’re anything like me your view of whether you’re any good might be a bit skewed.

Its never wasted time if you’re enjoying yourself.

Thank you!