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Do people actually like doing hobbies etc., or is it all for show?

BeaE

I have tried various hobbies over the years, but it always just feels like I'm filling time, or forcing myself into doing things that society approves of. I've not actually liked doing any of the things.

The tiredness or anxiety caused by hobbies and 'fun' pursuits just doesn't seem worth it. Quiet crafty hobbies or reading generally just feel like filling time, and then I feel bad for not being out and about, or bad for not finishing a project I've bought things for and not finished (or even started...)

For as long as I can remember, I've devoted most of my energy to work or study. Maybe this is why hobbies are less appealing to me - 'living to work' not 'working to live' and all that.

I'm wondering if other people feel like this too, or if you actually have found things that are enjoyable and fulfilling? If I just keep trying with a hobby, will enjoyment for it arise at some point? Maybe I just don't know I'm enjoying things, like alexithymia? 

Any input would be great please, just trying to figure this out!

Parents

  • I started a lot of different hobbies over the years, buying tools and materials and starting but then left these things gathering dust. I sometimes tried again, not because I particularly wanted to, but guilt over wasting money. Now I'm older I don't feel so anxious about this and simply give or throw things away, having regular de-cluttering sessions. I've just had a recent de-clutter and gave away, for example, a soldering kit, a hedge-trimming set too heavy for me, and lots of books I've had for years but never re-read. 

    So, I would conclude what you're doing is perfectly 'normal' [to use that much over-used term!] - it's why there is so much hobby stuff in charity shops! I too prefer study and learning - a lot of people on this site are the same. You don't have to have 'hobbies' in the conventional sense of the word. Why force yourself to do something merely because you feel it's, 'the right thing to do'? Remember that world experts accumulate knowledge through spending a huge proportion of their life studying - look at Chris Packham, David Attenborough, Charles Darwin.. Look at such people as your role models, not urban myths about expectations / time management.

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  • I started a lot of different hobbies over the years, buying tools and materials and starting but then left these things gathering dust. I sometimes tried again, not because I particularly wanted to, but guilt over wasting money. Now I'm older I don't feel so anxious about this and simply give or throw things away, having regular de-cluttering sessions. I've just had a recent de-clutter and gave away, for example, a soldering kit, a hedge-trimming set too heavy for me, and lots of books I've had for years but never re-read. 

    So, I would conclude what you're doing is perfectly 'normal' [to use that much over-used term!] - it's why there is so much hobby stuff in charity shops! I too prefer study and learning - a lot of people on this site are the same. You don't have to have 'hobbies' in the conventional sense of the word. Why force yourself to do something merely because you feel it's, 'the right thing to do'? Remember that world experts accumulate knowledge through spending a huge proportion of their life studying - look at Chris Packham, David Attenborough, Charles Darwin.. Look at such people as your role models, not urban myths about expectations / time management.

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