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Do people actually like doing hobbies etc., or is it all for show?

BeaE

I have tried various hobbies over the years, but it always just feels like I'm filling time, or forcing myself into doing things that society approves of. I've not actually liked doing any of the things.

The tiredness or anxiety caused by hobbies and 'fun' pursuits just doesn't seem worth it. Quiet crafty hobbies or reading generally just feel like filling time, and then I feel bad for not being out and about, or bad for not finishing a project I've bought things for and not finished (or even started...)

For as long as I can remember, I've devoted most of my energy to work or study. Maybe this is why hobbies are less appealing to me - 'living to work' not 'working to live' and all that.

I'm wondering if other people feel like this too, or if you actually have found things that are enjoyable and fulfilling? If I just keep trying with a hobby, will enjoyment for it arise at some point? Maybe I just don't know I'm enjoying things, like alexithymia? 

Any input would be great please, just trying to figure this out!

Parents

  • Hobbies can be beneficial in my experience, although a big problem is hyperfocus, so I get locked on until I see it through to the end of a project or it becomes another unfinished hobby.  I have also become disheartened by the fact I'm not very good at the hobbies I have 'enjoyed' and have actually not improved with the ones I tend to go back to time and time again, so that leads to feelings of time wasted. That may come from the feelings of time passing ever more quickly the older you get.

  • in reply to Unsure

    I’m sorry to hear that you are disheartened by not being good at your hobbies.

    I think the most important thing is I noticed you said that you enjoyed the hobby.

    Being good or bad at something isn’t a requirement for enjoyment and if you’re anything like me your view of whether you’re any good might be a bit skewed.

    Its never wasted time if you’re enjoying yourself.

    white heart

  • in reply to Lonehare12
    Lonehare12 said:
    Its never wasted time if you’re enjoying yourself.

    So true! I found this so many times. After decades of pottering in the garden, I've made quite a few good garden designs that received praise. The whole thing about learning is that it is often 2 steps back and 1 forward then suddenly things click and you realize you're really good at something.

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