Adult female with recent Asperger Syndrome diagnosis - how are you supposed to feel?

When doing Postgraduate studies, in the year 2000, I tried to see an educational psychologist, I was told that I was too clever, I think the N.H.S would not be able to diagnose dyspraxia as an adult.

I may have been tested for dyslexia, but the result would have been dyspraxia.

I have had dyspraxia, all my life causing me a history of problems( my dyspraxia is not severe).

I was told that I had dyspraxia in 2002, I thought dyspraxia was just being clumsy.

People thought I may have asperger syndrome. The only condition my mother told me that I have programs with include dyspraxia , (no problems with ASD). I had a non-standard diagnosis of aspergers traits which means that I have a borderline case of asperger syndrome. The letter from the psychiatrist says I have ASD.

I learned about dyspraxia (http://www.dyspraxiausa.org) in 2008, I realised my problems were dyspraxia. I attended a private diagnosis of dyspraxia in 2012. I have moderate dyspraxia which has caused me a history of problems. See, http://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle/fordyce-maxwell-it-seems-i-am-borderline-asperger-s-1-2807203, I have a similar, autism spectrum quotient score of around 25.

If dyspraxia is the main condition, the person may or may not have aspergers traits.

Maybe, you need to get a diagnosis of dyspraxia, I am only allowed to get support for dypraxia in the workplace. Receiving a diagnosis of dyspraxia explains my problems.

I live in Canada actually. But you are probably right about presenting them with the facts ie on paper, as I tend to just start breaking down if I talk about it and am never really sure what end to start at and how to tie it together in a timeline that makes sense that the doctor would listen to because who wants to hear my history from the time i was 6.

I have to say, I got the same "it's because your too intelligent," then "you'll meet people at college who are as smart as you," and then it really doesn't happen.

I feel for what has happened to you. It sounds like you have had one lousey doctor after another. In my experience, doctors are idiots. You need to do your researchm, find out whats wrong with you, then present them with the facts, if you want anything done. Although that advice would be useless to you now, and probably just as useless if you had been given it as a child when you were vulnerable and needed some one to help.

I think you need a Community Support assessment. I don't know where you live... But I'm in the UK and I am waiting for my assessment now, they will help me with diet, getting work, activities, and I think they would help you with a massage therapist also...

lol I had a doctor tell me he believed I didnt have an eating disorder because of the way i dressed..? I didnt really have friends either as a child, i pretty much followed people around if they let me and i didnt really speak to people much other than my parents... they said this was a sign of my intelligence...which wasnt a particularly helpful comment as school was basically torture and they said when i got to college it would be better and there would be more intelligent people..? i had repetitive movement disorder issues ie hand flapping fidgeting with objects which i did on and off from 8 until i was 25 for hours at a time but since i spent a lot of time alone by myself in my room no one really noticed and i didnt know what i was doing so...i never really brought it up. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder when i was 15 but due to digestive issues treatment didnt really help. i would go weeks without going to the bathroom and the doctor would just say oh it will get better or i would go to my family doctor and she said maybe u arent eating enough. in eating disorder hospitals they really do not care if u are eating healthy food, they address food fears ie they want u to eat dessert kraft dinner no one counts fiber.. they read your weight graph drug u and u go to groups...yeah obviously if i dont go to the bathroom for a few weeks and i eat and dont throw up i will put on weight..its not rocket science... so after multiple years i kind of gave up on the whole thing but came across a link on eating disorders and autism spectrum and diet so am trying to turn my life around or well my eating anyways because i really havent been able to make any progress in any direction anywhere i transitioned to a mostly fluid diet because i really couldnt hold a job when i was in that much pain. and am not sure if the repetitive movement problem fucked my arm up but ive had weird numbness and stiffness achiness on the one side and difficulty/pain using my hand and i tore cartilage in my right shoulder apparently but it took about 5 years before i could get a doctor to address it as apparently i was still too strong and not in enough pain when they checked it out. my doctor just offered me antipsychotics...self diagnosed also... i dont really have a family doctor anymore due to my bad experience with the first one i just go in to get prescriptions...im really not sure who i would go to to ask for a referal or diagnosis and am pretty apprehensive about trying to have this conversation with any doctor. they usually say one problem at a time and are not good at listening. i really wish i could go to a chiropractor or massage therapist as i have back pain and other pain and feel i need some extra help other than the diet  but that whole cant hold a job still working minimum wage is really not helping me afford a chiro or massage person.... i feel like i just will go in circles forever...on my friends computer his keyboard labels are different apologies for the bad punctuation.

Thanks everyone for your comments and supportive words. It has made me feel much better about my diagnosis and the reactions people have had to it.

From one Daisy to another, just believe the diagnosis and ignore the people who don't accept it.

Some of my family are the same, even though I have had very severe Asperger's behaviours from childhood. 

I am happy with the diagnosis, and it explains everything for me, about my past and present.

If others can't accept it I just ignore them and state calmly that it is who I am.

You are not a fraud, you are an Aspie!!

Hi Daisy,

I have just been diagnosed myself and can only affirm the other comments. It is very difficult to accept, and must be more so for family. I am 63 and have lived in the dark about my condition all my life until recently seeking a referral from my GP. If my mother was still alive I very much doubt if she would have accepted it easily if at all. My half brother is still alive and I do not think it means anything to him. Personally I am pretty much past trying to explain to anybody (including doctors & psychiatrists).

  Try pointing out that what you have been given is an accurate diagnosis and that many of the alternatives are often worse. From that point of view I am very relieved at having been diagnosed but am having difficulty myself deciding who to tell and how. We can only hope that others will be (if not eventually) supportive of us in our difficulty- if not it is their loss and it is our responsibility to ourselves to find people who are likely to give us some acceptance and support. Good luck and try to be kind to yourself.

  Kaspersky

Daisy - please be relieved that you have at last had a confirmation of what you suspected was different about you.  As autismtwo says - don't worry - about the non-acknowledgement.

I know from my own experience that you cannot make people accept there is a genetic difference like AS in the family.  It implicates them - doesn't it - even though you, they or no-one else is to blame.  

I am an adult who was diagnosed with AS and Dyspraxia a few weeks ago. In my own experience there seems to be a family attitude of  - 'This doesn't happen in our family'.  

My own mother was extremely 'rough' with me as a child  -  and I wonder if her refusal to engage with me may be because of guilt relating to the way she treated me, when I couldn't help what I was doing. i.e. - If she believes there is nothing wrong with me, then she can not be blamed for the severe discipline she meted out, because I was a bad child.

I do not think my own mother will ever accept it - because it will mean she has to confront her own behaviour. It has taken me a long while to accept that possibility. But I understand I have to live with the AS diagnosis, and as such have many more things to think about now.

I would say - concentrate on yourself Daisy and your needs, aside from your mother's acceptance. In time, she may come round to accepting your diagnosis.

Daisy,, what rings through your post is NON-ACKNOWLEDGEMENT pattern from your mother/parents, don't worry about it,, my mother and family are the same,, you will find that they have never acknowledged your true needs as an autistic child, hence you have to get your owe diagnosis later in life.

I have aspergers but my family has an aspergers denial and non-acknowledgement, (too all your needs, not just asperger condition needs), all you can do is surround yourself with the right care people, please don't use up your emotional energy, trying to get there acknowledgement, they are too far gone in there mindset.  

I acknowledge you Daisy and your condition, support each other, those who understand each other, forget the rest.