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Adult female with recent Asperger Syndrome diagnosis - how are you supposed to feel?

Daisy12345

I have thought I had the symptoms of Asperger Syndrome for the last three or four years, and my difficulty coping with things like change got to the point that I went to my doctor and asked to be referred to be assessed because I need help. My GP said I didn't have it, and he could tell because of how I dress, but he referred me anyway.

I was assessed and I was told I have Asperger Syndrome, and also Dyspraxia.

My mother, however, is convinced either it is something I have developed, or I don't have it. This is because the idea of it being genetic, or I was born that way, unsettles her. However, I know I have always felt this way, and obviously the specialist agrees. But even as a child, when teachers remarked that I had no friends, my mum did not want to believe it. The way she acts makes me feel like I am a fraud. 

Anyone else having difficulty coming to terms with a diagnosis?

Parents

  • Daisy - please be relieved that you have at last had a confirmation of what you suspected was different about you.  As autismtwo says - don't worry - about the non-acknowledgement.

    I know from my own experience that you cannot make people accept there is a genetic difference like AS in the family.  It implicates them - doesn't it - even though you, they or no-one else is to blame.  

    I am an adult who was diagnosed with AS and Dyspraxia a few weeks ago. In my own experience there seems to be a family attitude of  - 'This doesn't happen in our family'.  

    My own mother was extremely 'rough' with me as a child  -  and I wonder if her refusal to engage with me may be because of guilt relating to the way she treated me, when I couldn't help what I was doing. i.e. - If she believes there is nothing wrong with me, then she can not be blamed for the severe discipline she meted out, because I was a bad child.

    I do not think my own mother will ever accept it - because it will mean she has to confront her own behaviour. It has taken me a long while to accept that possibility. But I understand I have to live with the AS diagnosis, and as such have many more things to think about now.

    I would say - concentrate on yourself Daisy and your needs, aside from your mother's acceptance. In time, she may come round to accepting your diagnosis.

Reply

  • Daisy - please be relieved that you have at last had a confirmation of what you suspected was different about you.  As autismtwo says - don't worry - about the non-acknowledgement.

    I know from my own experience that you cannot make people accept there is a genetic difference like AS in the family.  It implicates them - doesn't it - even though you, they or no-one else is to blame.  

    I am an adult who was diagnosed with AS and Dyspraxia a few weeks ago. In my own experience there seems to be a family attitude of  - 'This doesn't happen in our family'.  

    My own mother was extremely 'rough' with me as a child  -  and I wonder if her refusal to engage with me may be because of guilt relating to the way she treated me, when I couldn't help what I was doing. i.e. - If she believes there is nothing wrong with me, then she can not be blamed for the severe discipline she meted out, because I was a bad child.

    I do not think my own mother will ever accept it - because it will mean she has to confront her own behaviour. It has taken me a long while to accept that possibility. But I understand I have to live with the AS diagnosis, and as such have many more things to think about now.

    I would say - concentrate on yourself Daisy and your needs, aside from your mother's acceptance. In time, she may come round to accepting your diagnosis.

Children
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